Using my mouse is an annoying waste of time. Moving my hand half a foot from the keyboard is bad enough, but the time it takes to locate the pointer on the screen is what really steams me. Oh yeah, most of the time it’s a split second and there it is, but every now and then the pointer is right at the edge of the screen and my flailing of the mouse just slides it along that edge. Precious seconds are wasted trying to find that stupid thing!

This is why keyboard shortcuts rule like Dr. Doom rules Latveria*.

Some of them everybody knows. They’re fine. Some of them are pretty freaking useless. And some… ahhhh, some are like hidden jewels.

So, in the interest of introducing my favourites in case they are new to you, may I obsequiously present…

Jason’s Jolly Pirate Ship ‘o’ Window-Centric Keyboard Shortcuts

General Windows Shortcuts

These are the ones that everyone should know and if you don’t, what’s your problem, chump? They work in a whole cornucopia of Windows programs.

• CTRL-o — Open
• CTRL-s — Save
• CTRL-a — Select All
• CTRL-x — Cut
• CTRL-c — Copy
• CTRL-v — Paste
• CTRL-f — Find
• CTRL-p — Print
• CTRL-F4 — Close file
• ALT-F4 — Close Program
• ALT-Tab — Cycle through open windows
• WIN-e — Open Windows Explorer
• WIN-d — Minimize everything and reveal the desktop (hit it again and it restores everything)

Microsoft Word

• F4 — Repeat Last Action (This one is so sweet. Select some text. Do something to it. Select some other text. Hit F4. It performs the last action on the new selection. Makes life so much easier, especially when some of those actions involve going through a whole series of menus.)
• F12 — Save As

Thunderbird (and a lot of other email programs)

• CTRL-Enter — Send Email
• CTRL-r — Reply
• SHIFT-CTRL-r — Reply All
• CTRL-l — Forward

Mozilla Firefox

• CTRL-l — Go to the Location bar
• CTRL-k — Go to the Search Bar
• CTRL-n — Open new browser window
• CTRL-t — Open new tab
• CTRL-Tab — Cycle through open tabs
• Keywords — This is not so much a specific keyboard shortcut as a way to create keyboard shortcuts for specific web addresses. Select “Properties” for any specific bookmark and in the keyword field enter whatever keyword you like. I find it easiest to use single-letter keywords for the sites that I visit most often (”j” for this site, “b” for Bloglines, etc.). That way, I just type CTRL-l and then the single letter keyword and then I’m at the page I’m looking for. Easy-peasy.

* Geek quota of the day

UPDATE: Ack! I forgot one of the very most essential of the keyboard shortcuts:

• CTRL-z — Undo!!!!

(Don’t know where I’d be without that one…)

• McSweeney’s: “Jim Jarmusch’s Notes for a Ghostbusters Sequel”

Bill Murray goes to an Indian restaurant. He engages in non sequiturs with his waiter. (Backstory, NOT FOR USE IN FILM: Waiter has learned English from advertisements on the benches at bus stops.) Disturbance in kitchen. Bill Murray does not go to investigate. Looks at place mat, lost in indecipherable reflections. Something bursts forth from the kitchen. Bill Murray finds himself “slimed” (offscreen) by the lovable little slime monster from the original film. An emotion flickers over Bill Murray’s face. Resignation? Ennui? Ironic detachment? Gentle bemusement? Despair? It is impossible to say. Bill Murray gazes at nothing. His eyebrow starts to move, but then it doesn’t. Overhead shot of a bowl of rice. Xylophone/Hammond organ music. Slow fade to black.

Yes, I know, I’m turning into a link whore. Deal with it. At least you know I’m alive. That’s more than I can say for you. For all I know, this site’s being read by zombies. And they ain’t getting the jokes.

• New York Times: “A Miniature Gate in Hot Pursuit of a Miniature Central Park” (via Kottke)

Summary — there’s a conceptual art piece being towed around Manhattan called “Floating Island”, described in the article as “a kind of waterborne jewel-box version of Central Park, built on a barge, with live trees and shrubs”. Others artists chased after it with their own conceptual art piece — a replica of a single gate from the Christo and Jeanne-Claude art piece “The Gates” on a motorboat.

That’s so clever it hurts.

• Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunters!

How have I not found this site before?

These ain’t yer average zombie huntin’ yokels. They’ve given this a lot of thought. Listen to this:

“We should all be concerned about the dead. Because like it or not, it’s a demographic we will all be joining one day.”

I never thought of that! It’s so true! How can you not support an organisation that obviously has such intelligent and dedicated people involved.

And they ain’t namby-pamby about this zombie hunting thing, trying to talk the zombies into surrendering and other wimpy liberal things, like proper spelling. Oh no, they’re led by one tough dude:

A squad of one, Jim Rage is our foremost zombie slayer and has mastered the art of killing brain-eaters. He is found of Weedwackers, chainsaws, and flamethrowers for to get the job done. Although he can readily make use of any object at his disposel. As he demenstrated in the 2000 Jim Rage Summet by subduing five martial arts masters using only moist towlets and M&M’s™. He is a vegetarian.

God!

I need to find my credit card. These people need more funding.

(Holy crap! They sell t-shirts too! It’s like the mothership has called me home.)

• McSweeney’s: “Unqualified Successes of George W. Bush’s Two Terms in Office (So Far)”

The most concise editorial on the Bush Administration I have ever read.

It can’t get more concise than this.

Really.

Super-duper concise.