archive for November 2005

random lesson i have learned from muppets

When planning a jewel heist, a jar of mustard is essential.

ring around the rosie, a pocket full of zombie tuesday

You know, I don’t know if this really qualifies as a “zombie” movie. Our crack team of scientists were doing extensive research into the field of Zombie Cats and came upon this source. So, it’s providence as genuine zombie evidence is in doubt.

However, the aforementioned crack team of scientists found it to be pretty creepy, which is hard to do to the now twice-aforementioned crack team of scientists.

And anyways… it has a cat! Which means it’s cool!

Just like Fonzie!

Thusly, I deem it adequate for Zombie Tuesday.

Bonus Math!:

Arthur Fonzarelli + The Cranberries “Zombie” = “Fonzie”!

fonzi!

How the hell did I get from Zombie Tuesday to Fonzie?

Except for the fact that they sort of rhyme.

Hmmm…

Better be careful. Don’t want to slip up and celebrate Fonzie Tuesday.

That would just be wrong.

yee-haw! monkey jockeys!

Even more proof that monkeys are funny:

git along little doggie!

Looks like it’s going to be one of those days.

One of those monkeys-riding-dogs-while-herding-goats days.

impossible people

Some of the funniest things I see online are the “How-To”s found at eHow and on their wiki. Recent examples include “How to Draw a Frog”, “How to Meet Your Girlfriend’s Parents”, “How to Make a Paper Hat”, “How to Draw Bubble Letters”, “How to Make Great Photocopies”, “How to Do a Push Up”, and my all-time favourite, “How to Spot a Virgo”.

But this new one, “How to Deal With Impossible People”, has just got me wondering…

What sort of impossible people are we talking about here?

  • The man whose nose was Wyoming?
  • The woman that sneezes dryads and gnomes?
  • The unfortunate children that live in a moth-eaten copy of a May 1952 issue of Life magazine?
  • That guy that divided 24 by zero and got an elephant?
  • And what about Jerome, the little man that lives in my head and gets to hear all the cool comebacks that I come up with ten minutes too late? What about him?! (I love Jerome.)

Impossible people.

You just gotta learn to live with them.

making the punishment fit the crime

Snow and temperatures in the 20s are expected Wednesday night when a northeast Ohio woman begins a 15-day jail sentence by spending a night in the woods.

A judge in Painesville came up with the unusual punishment for Michelle Murray, 25, who pleaded guilty last month to charges that she abandoned 35 kittens in two Lake County Metroparks.

The animals were recovered but many had upper respiratory infections, and nine died.

Judge Michael Cicconetti said he wanted Murray to feel what the kittens experienced.

One day is not enough. She should serve out her whole sentence in the woods. And then she should be spayed and declawed. And maybe treated for worms.

My $0.02.