archive for December 2005

another heir to the kulrblind dynasty

oliver kulrblind

Woo-hoo!

i was a teenage zombie tuesday!

Zombie Tuesday is on vacation and has no zombies to offer you today.

Zombie Tuesday apologises for this sorry state of affairs.

Zombie Tuesday would like to offer you this picture of Zombie Puppy Dogs to make everything better:

augh!

Zombie Tuesday acknowledges that Zombie Puppy Dogs would so kick its ass if they were both out at the clubs trying to pick up women. Zombie Tuesday would be all desperate and tell really bad jokes and look all needy and the girls would say, “No way! I’m going for that dreamboat in the corner that looks all mysterious and dangerous!” And Zombie Puppy Dogs would just reel them in.

Zombie Tuesday is like Richie Cunningham to Zombie Puppy Dogs’ Fonzie.

Zombie Tuesday hates Zombie Puppy Dogs.

christmas quote of the day

“Oh no! It’s velociraptors!! RUN BABY JESUS! RUN!!!”

- Somewhere on the Masthead

my sister the multitasker

My sister can’t just enjoy Christmas for what it is. Nooooo. She has to multitask. She has to have a birthday on the same day as Christmas.

Sigh.

These are just a few words of wisdom on the whole sharing your birthday with Christmas thing:

  • They do so get as many presents as everyone else. In fact, they get more, because everyone feels that they are likely getting ripped off on the whole present thing so they overcompensate. So that’s not a worry.
  • They do get the short end of the stick in that they get all their presents for the year on one day. That sorta blows.
  • Lastly, do you want to know how to drive someone who’s birthday is on Christmas Day insane? Wrap their birthday gifts in Christmas paper. They hate that.

Have a great day sis. I love ya.

You eat poo.

happy pagan-symbol-appropriation day!

If you actually ever have eaten a sugarplum and liked it, I guess I hope you have dreams of it… I don’t know… dancing or something. You know. In your head.

I’m sorry — how do sugarplums dance? I mean really. They’re inanimate. I can more easily picture oysters playing rugby than sugarplums dancing. At least they have a muscle. If you drew a picture of sugarplums, they would call it a “still-life”, which would imply that they remain pretty freaking still.

Maybe my imagination is on the fritz.

Or maybe sugarplums are hallucinogenic.

Whatever.

Have a happy day. Holiday. Christmas. Festivalleytickaboo. Crazy-Present-Santa-Day. “Larry”. Whatever you want to call it.

I hope you all have a good one.

happy-pagan-symbol-appropriation day