I get great satisfaction by packing a nice, healthy lunch for My Lovely Wife. She worries about eating too much during the day, so I take care to fill her lunch with a whole pile of low-cal goodies — usually a big salad or a package of pureed soup, some flavoured rice cakes, one or two pieces of fruit, and the assorted munchie.

(On the other hand, my packed lunch is usually whatever fruit is dropped to the floor or the leavings on plates that the cats didn’t bother licking up, maybe in a bag or possbly just kicked in front of me as I walk. I’m not so conscientious with my own lunch.)

Well, the very first time I packed one of the pureed soups for My Lovely Wife, I received a call at my desk at 12:08.

She wanted to thank my for the soup. And she also wanted to suggest that the next time I actually include tupperware to hold it in and, say, maybe a spoon with which to eat it.

Chagrin, I did feel.

Well, I have never forgotten to pack that tupperware and spoon again. Now, if it’s a soup day, I remember the tupperware and spoon if it means I have to beat my way through a crowd of small, tubercular children. (Which, oddly enough, is not that often.)

Today was a soup day. And dammit, I did not forget that damn tupperware and spoon.

The soup on the other hand…

I have decided to start a project.

For the next month, I will not link cute-animal posts or funny-quote posts or poo-posts or stupid-people posts or awesome-Lego posts or even zombie posts… unless they actually reference the events or undercurrents of my life.

For I do declare the next 31 days… The Month of Me.

(Look at you all… cringing in horror.)

For one month, I will actually attempt to give people a glimpse into the fabulous world that is Jason, without hiding behinds the warm embrace of of zombie Lego kitten fetish porn or whatever. (That phrase should get some interesting hits from Google.)

So stay tuned for fascinating excavations into The Uncharted Depths Of Jason’s Computer Room! Prepare yourself for a startling account of Jason Cleaning The Kitty Litter! Gird your loins in fear of Jason Wondering What Happened In The Last Five Minutes Of CSI Last Night After He Fell Asleep!

Are you girding your loins? Oh, you better.

The Month Of Me begins…

— to tide you over for the next month: a cat piano (via), Pugs in Hats (via), a monkey song, the growing Wall Ball menace, the travels of Nate the Sock Monkey, a zombie donkey in shirt form, a site that will smash your heart into wee little pieces, famous monkeys through history, and a Lego boom-stick wielder — ration that out, people. It has to last you a month —

… NOW!

Right. Ok. I promise. I’ll cool it with the animal posts. This is getting out of control.

Right after this:

• You Can’t Make It Up: “50 ANIMALS IN CASTS”

Oh my Godfry Jones. Animals in casts.

Just stomp on my heart a little more right now, why don’t you?

OK. No more animals. For a while. I promise…

… to try

• The Other Side @ Matazone: “Night of the Zombie Kitties, starring Mittens and Snowdrop”

You are a dog named Snowdrop. You wander into a cemetery. Zombie kittens proceed to approach you with the “assumed” purpose of eating your brains. Thusly, you proceed to unleash destruction upon them with your Dog-matic Mortar Cannon.

Huh.

I have a problem with the underlying thesis behind this “game”.

The assumption that the zombies would be kittens strikes me as foul propaganda by the ever-more-powerful Canine Lobby.

I say, nay! — nay, I say! Stand up against this foul belief! Kittens are no more likely to single-mindedly devour your brains than dogs are likely to meekly defer from eating their own poo!

Or no more likely than I am to avoid using the word “poo”.