the month of me: my lovely wife has her supper

As I had to head off to Ultimate at suppertime, My Lovely Wife and I went to Sobeys on the way home to pick up a piece of chicken for her to have for dinner. But when we stepped up to the deli counter, my eyes immediately locked on the sign advertising “10 Pieces of Fried Chicken — $10.00!”. Now, a bargain is something that can twist my brain like so much playdough, so I instantly pointed at the sign and said, “Unh! Unh! Unh!” (Which the guy behind the counter knew was shorthand for, “May we please have some of the advertised chicken, my fine fellow?”)

Now, My Lovely Wife always frets about what she eats, so she started to relent, but I deftly wove a fine tapestry of arguments that boiled down to “Ten bucks! We can’t NOT get it! Please please please can we get it can we get it can we get it?” After conceding that she could take the skin off the chicken, she reluctantly agreed. I then did a little dance. And high-fived the guy behind the counter. (Not certain if this tranpired exactly like this — the endorphins were pumping a little erratically at this point.)

Chicken packed and paid for, we headed home, where I grabbed my gear for Ultimate and off I went.

(Here is where you picture sand flowing through an hourglass, or the hands of a clock whirling around. Whatever it is you use to visualise time passing. I don’t know, it’s your visualisation. Me, I picture a line of hedgehogs jumping over a flaming pit of lava in rapid succession. But that’s just me.)

I got home from Ultimate, fed the cats, and headed upstairs to change out of my sweaty clothes and have a shower.

I arrived in the bedroom and there My Lovely Wife was, sitting up in bed, holding the covers up to her nose. She lowers the covers to just below her lips and whispers:

“I had some of the chicken.

“And I took all the skin off.

“And then I ate the chicken.”

(Pause.)

“And then I ate the skin.

“I couldn’t help it! I finished the chicken and I thought, ‘Maybe… if I just chew on a little piece… for the flavour.’ And it was SOOOO good.

“So I had just one more piece… and it was even better.

“Next thing I knew… it was two minutes later. And all the skin was gone.”

She said some other stuff after that, but I was too busy laughing so hard my nose started to run.


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