Me: Do you know who the longest-serving cast member of Saturday Night Live was?

My Lovely Wife: Who?

Me: Tim Meadows. He was on it for 10 years.

My Lovely Wife: Really?

Me: Yeah. I always thought it would have been Phil Hartman. I miss Phil Hartman.

My Lovely Wife: Well, you can be certain of one thing — I will never shoot you in your sleep.

Me: (Chuckles) Yeah… you’ll shoot me when I’m awake.

My Lovely Wife: (Silence)

Me: Ah. It will be while I’m asleep. You just won’t shoot me…

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