i am now 12,784 days old
And because My Lovely Wife was utterly horrified by my improvised Birthday serenade to myself this morning… I will of course now share the lyrics of this destined-to-be-a-classic with you, my trans-fat-free readers:
Happy Birthday to me,
I dri-ink my pee,
It tastes like weak tea,
I’m allergic to bees.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
…
Three items to note:
- For the record, I do not actually drink my pee nor am I aware of whether or not my pee is redolent of weak tea. I leave that to others to discover. At their peril.
- I am not actually allergic to bees. Wasp stings… yes. Which cuts down heavily on my wasp-sting cookie intake.
- My Lovely Wife horrifies frighteningly easily. Just watch her eyes when I dance. It’s quite heartbreaking.
September 13th, 2006 at 9:44 am
Love the new take on an old classic. It may be a little insensitive to pee-drinkers out there. Not that I’d know or anything. Anyway, may your next 12,784 days be better than the first 12,784 days. So when you’re ready for a coffee, let me know.
September 13th, 2006 at 9:57 am
lol, despite all that - Happy Birthday!
September 13th, 2006 at 10:13 am
Pee is overrated. It’s better than turnip juice, but what isn’t?
September 13th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Happy Birthday, Jason. Mabel and I will attempt to give you the bumps this weekend.
(you know, after all the wife-swapping)
September 13th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Happy birthday to an interesting 12,784 day old fella. Yay you in lasting this many days!! May the future bring you much joy!
as a wife, I too am horrified at my husband’s dancing and openly mock his singing ability. mwahahahahahaha (evil wife laugh)
September 14th, 2006 at 5:56 am
Thank you. Thank you all.
And Alison, you do realise it is the callous actions of wives like you that will lead to years and years of therapy later in life?
And much less AWESOME DANCING?
September 17th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
heh heh heh