An internal monologue:

I’m hungry.

Cookies would be good- NO! No cookies! I’m getting a reputation for being some sort of cookie addict. So. No cookies.

Still. I’m hungry.

Wait! I think I have a granola bar! That’s not cookie-like, is it? No! It’s a “granola bar”, not a “cookie”. COMPLETELY different.

So… where did I put that granola bar… noonie-noonie-noo… ah-HAH! Coat pocket! Let’s see…

[Pause filled with much hunting for granola bar.]

Weird. There seems to be a multiple number of granola bars in this coat pocket.

[Pause filled with much rooting around in granola bar-containing pocket.]

Huh.

Why do I have four granola bars in my coat pocket?

I don’t remember grabbing four granola bars this morning.

[Pause filled with much ordering of granola bars into parallel lines on desk in front of me.]

That’s weird. Did I really grab that many granola bars this morning? Or did I grab some another day and not actually get around to eating them? That doesn’t sound like me. Ush-ly iff I bring a grrnola bar, I’ll be shur-

[Pause filled with much examining of slightly smaller ordered set of granola bars on desk in front of me.]

Wait a sec.

I was certain there were were four granola bars a second ago. I must not have counted them correctly. Well, letsh be shurtain ‘n’ coun’ thum kerrecly thish time ar-

[Pause filled with much suspicious glaring at the growing empty spaces between the individual granola bars on desk in front of me.]

Now I KNOW there were three granola bars a second ago. Unlesh I’mmm devlooping shome short of b’ind spot ‘n muh vishon-

[Pause filled with much frantic scrambling as the set previously containing a multiple number of granola bars has seemingly transformed into a set containing but a single granola bar.]

Okay, someone’s definitely trying to freak me out or something. Just a minute ago there wur duhfuntely two gruh-nola b’rsh ‘n thuh deshk ‘n frunt uhf me ‘n’ now thersh ‘nly-

[Pause filled with much silent contemplation of the empty desk in front of me.]

Where did these crumbs come from?

[Pause.]

I’m hungry.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 7th, 2006 at 2:58 pm and is filed under me, food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.