robots just got a frigging whole lot more unsettling
Okay. So I may have been mildly unsettled by robots earlier in the week.
O… to return to those innocent, carefree days.
A “robot wine steward”? How innocuous!
Look at how the article lulls us into a false sense of security:
Researchers at NEC System Technologies and Mie University have designed a robot that can taste — an electromechanical sommelier able to identify dozens of different wines, cheeses and hors d’oeuvres.
“There are all kinds of robots out there doing many different things,” said Hideo Shimazu, director of the NEC System Technology Research Laboratory and a joint-leader of the robot project. “But we decided to focus on wine because that seemed like a real challenge.”
Last month, they unveiled the fruits of their two-year effort — a green-and-white prototype with eyes, a head that swivels and a mouth that lights up whenever the robot talks.
The “tasting” is done elsewhere, however.
At the end of the robot’s left arm is an infrared spectrometer. When objects are placed up against the sensor, the robot fires off a beam of infrared light. The reflected light is then analyzed in real time to determine the object’s chemical composition.
“All foods have a unique fingerprint,” Shimazu said. “The robot uses that data to identify what it is inspecting right there on the spot.”
When it has identified a wine, the robot speaks up in a childlike voice. It names the brand and adds a comment or two on the taste, such as whether it is a buttery chardonnay or a full-bodied shiraz, and what kind of foods might go well on the side.
Oh! How perfectly non-threatening! How completely disarming!
Heck! Let’s take a look at the little guy!
Look! He’s got a little chef’s hat! THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER! Crank up the assembly lines! I want my robo-steward TODAY! ROBO-STEWARDS FOR EVERYONE!
[Sound of assembly lines being cranked up.]
Buuuuuuuuut… WAIT!
[Sound of assembly lines being cranked down.]
Read further, my hitherto complacent readers… read further…
When a reporter’s hand was placed against the robot’s taste sensor, it was identified as prosciutto. A cameraman was mistaken for bacon.
Yes.
That is correct.
TO ROBOTS… WE. TASTE. LIKE. BACON.
I shall now proceed to my underground bunker for the remainder of the day.
November 10th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Wait ’til these guys get their plan in place, and I quote:
“(W)e hope to…put a robot in every home and office.”
Maybe the only thing more unsettling than a robot who thinks we smell like bacon is a *ubiquitous* robot capable of putting things “where they belong.” Hey! Let’s combine their powers, won’t *that* be a fun project!
I’m outta here.
November 10th, 2006 at 11:07 am
Eep!
[Locking the door on the underground bunker.]
November 10th, 2006 at 11:29 am
I come here to be amused……now I’m scared!!!! eeeek
November 10th, 2006 at 11:39 am
[...] Original post by sween and software by Elliott Back [...]
November 10th, 2006 at 11:40 am
We got an “Eep” and an “eeeek”.
24 more letters in the alphabet, people. Let’s keep ‘em comin’!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
November 10th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
No no no. We’re looking for entries like “Eeeeeh” or “EEEEEEEEEEER”. Keep playing though.
November 10th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
(In order for me to play along, and use the exclamation I have in mind, I must now be totally gross. Sorry!)
I wonder what food product it would think we tasted like if it aimed its infrared beam at my ass?
Eeeeeeeeeew!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Well, according to this chart… ham.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
And that works on SO MANY LEVELS.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Indeed.
November 10th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
But do robots even like bacon? I mean, I’d be alot more scared if they thought we were battery acid.
(what about eeeeque, it’s kind of a snooty “I know how to hold my wine glass” eek…)
November 10th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Do robots even like bacon?? EVERYONE LIKES BACON! EVEN VEGANS LIKE BACON! WHY DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE SOY BACON???