a proposal to all my non-american brethern
Today is American Thanksgiving. Today is the day where all of our American friends will be busy cooking turkey, eating turkey, and digesting turkey. Today, they will be in the kitchens and livings rooms of America, dopey with tryptophan and pie. Today, they will be gathered in the welcoming arms of their families and loved ones, giving thanks and watching football.
This is our chance.
Today… WE GET TO PLAY WITH THEIR TOYS.
Seriously, they’ll never notice. All those toys they never give us a chance to play with, today… today they are ours for the taking!
Today is the day that you get to have at that Star Wars Death Star playset you’ve been dreaming of for years! Today is the day that you get to open all of those collectors’ edition Barbies — STILL IN MINT CONDITION IN THEIR UNOPENED PACKAGES — and have the mother of all dress-up parties! Today… WE GET ALL THE LEGO!
But it doesn’t end there! Oh no! Today is they day that we get to the front of the line on Space Mountain! Today we ALL get a ride on the Vomit Comet!
Today… we get to play Battleship… WITH REAL BATTLESHIPS!
So let’s get cracking, folks! The day won’t last forever.
And if anyone is looking for me, I’m starting off in D.C.
I’m getting Fonzie’s jacket out of the Smithsonian.
…
A NOTE TO ALL AMERICANS READING THIS:
Don’t worry. I’m kidding.
…
A NOTE TO ALL NON-AMERICANS READING THIS:
I’m not kidding. I’ll see you in half an hour. Bring cookies.
November 23rd, 2006 at 10:55 am
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:11 am
What the-? Where’s my classic GI Joe with Kung Fu grip? Who stole my Candyland? Ants in the Pants - where are you????
SWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
I’d get up and chase you, but you know… all the pumpkin pie.
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:22 am
Take it - take it all - you deserve it. And - don’t forget that GW doesn’t have anyone left to chase after you!
But - Fonzie’s jacket??? Take the lunar module dude!!
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:32 am
Mabel: C’mon… I know you’ve been eyeing that Apache helicopter for WEEKS now. Yeah… you know you’re up for it. You and me, buddy, you and me. I’ll meet up with you in Atlanta and we’ll go put whoopie cushions on all the anchor’s chairs at CNN.
Jenny: Kung-fu grip… SMASH! Kung-fu grip… CHOP! Oh, this thing’s AWESOME!
g-dog: Hey, Fonzie’s jacket is just FIRST on my list of priorities. Imagine being in the lunar module… while WEARING Fonzie’s jacket. And maybe Indiana’s Jones’ whip too. Oh this is gonna ROCK!
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:48 am
Right I’ve got my flight booked…….. should be there in several hours or as I’m going backwards does that mean I’m already there? Where are the toys? Is there any chocolate?
November 23rd, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Just please leave me my Rock’em Sock’em Robots. Please. I’m begging you.
November 23rd, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Mwahaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaa
They Rock and sock…hahahahahahahhahahaa *cracccck*
oooooopppssssy RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!
November 24th, 2006 at 6:23 am
The monkey challenge continues 4452……. mwahahahahahahahaha
November 24th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
*groggily opens 1/2 eye*
…whaa?
November 26th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
I love this idea! I’m so sad that I discovered it too late. Next year, make it a meme, ok? Like Neil Kramer’s Thank Your First Commenter Day.
Oh, man, the toys in the Tech Museum in San Jose that I could have played with! I probably couldda walked right in…