a non-exclusive list of things whose absence would lead to my immediate (or eventual) death

  • oxygen
  • the Earth’s crust
  • gravity
  • the Sun
  • the ability to create poop
  • the means to get the aforementioned poop out of my body
  • the ozone layer
  • molecular cohesion
  • antibodies
  • water
  • my brain
  • the contents of my brain
  • the contents of my brain specifically relating to my fear of death
  • the contents of my brain specifically relating to my fear of death by snow leopard
  • the contents of my brain specifically relating to how get the twice aforementioned poop out of my body
  • the four stories currently between me and the ground

7 Responses to “a non-exclusive list of things whose absence would lead to my immediate (or eventual) death”

  1. Sarah Adams Says:

    Pfft. Gravity is overrated.

  2. Suldog Says:

    Brains, too.

  3. sween Says:

    Sis: Without gravity, all my stuff floats away! And I NEED my stuff. Geez.

    Suldog: No brains means my skull is empty. It doesn’t like to be empty. Really doesn’t like it.

  4. Radioactive Jam Says:

    Kinda strange how COOKIES aren’t on the list. And don’t give me that non-exclusive parp. You’re deliberately trying to misdirect.

    On an unrelated topic, I wonder if it’s my “pill time” yet.

  5. Alison Says:

    Zo, Miztah Zween, I would zay zat you have a morbud fazinazion wiz the poop, yez?
    ******scribbles notes furiously complete with caracat..cracr..PICTURES*
    Veeeerrry innnnzerezting….yeees…mozed deffinizly innnnnzerezting

  6. Jurgen Nation Says:

    My first thought was “skin.” And that would hurt.

    So…uh…if you wanted to post this on Ye Olde Indie Bloggers, you know…you can. If you want to. No pressure.

    Also? Be happy you can poop. A “friend” of mine can’t. The “friend” is miserable because of it and has a Buddha belly sometimes. But, really. It’s a friend. *I* would never disclose such personal information about my intestines.

  7. sween Says:

    RJ: The absence of cookies would not lead to my immediate or eventual death. I would just wish it had.

    Alison: How did you fit a couch in here?? Wow… it’s really quite comfortable… so you want me to tell you about me mother?… I’ll tell you about my mother…

    Jurgen Nation: “Skin” was on a preliminary list. But I needed space for more poop references, so it got dropped.

make with the yak-yak

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