asshat looks fetching on florida
I have documented evidence that many fine American readers were heartbroken at the recent example of Canada’s asshattery.
Well. I am happy to report that the asshat has left the country.
Florida called and had us courier it down.
A brief recap:
A 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old girl in Florida had themselves some of those sexual relations. With each other. As has been known to happen. And let’s be clear here — in Florida, it is LEGAL for teenagers to have sex with each other. Whether or not it’s smart, they are legally allowed to do it.
The two of them then decided to photograph those sexual relations. Yes, I think we can all agree that just possibly this was not the smartest of moves — Star Wars Kid anyone? Whatever. They took the pictures and then they sent the photos from her computer to his email account.
That’s it. A teenage couple had some of the sex with each other, took some naughty pictures of themselves, and then shared the photos WITH EACH OTHER. At no point did either of them express an interest in publishing the photos publicly.
Here’s where the Florida judicial system grabbed the asshat and pulled it firmly down over its ears:
Court records don’t say exactly what happened next — perhaps the parents wanted to end the relationship and raised the alarm — but somehow Florida police learned about the photos.
Amber and Jeremy were arrested. Each was charged with producing, directing or promoting a photograph featuring the sexual conduct of a child. Based on the contents of his e-mail account, Jeremy was charged with an extra count of possession of child pornography.
And they were found guilty. OF FREAKING CHILD PORN.
And let’s underline the final point that tips the asshat to a nice jaunty angle:
THEY. WERE. TRIED. AS. ADULTS.
The legal acrobatics here are… what’s the word I’m looking for?
Oh yeah — asshatacular.
…
P.S. Reading this over, I realise that I added absolutely nothing to the dialogue that wasn’t said more succinctly over at Boing Boing.
But I did use the word “asshat” more. So we’re good.
February 21st, 2007 at 11:13 am
Asshat is one of my favorite words. I use it often:)
Btw, I don’t know if you know, but I reviewed your blog a few days ago… since I loved you I’m now a big fan:)
February 21st, 2007 at 11:22 am
What? Jay – you’ve got readers who aren’t related to you, or know-you-and-feel-guilty-enough-to-add-you-to-their-RSS-feed?
WTF?
February 21st, 2007 at 11:36 am
I wish someone had told ME it was okay to have sex at 17.
[sniff.]
February 21st, 2007 at 11:36 am
rubylou: “Asshat” is quite spectacular. “It’s an insult… that you WEAR!”
And hey! Wicked cool review! I even got a vote against me being a fat pervert lurking in cyberspace! That’s awesome! Thanks!
Otto: As impossible as it seems, yes, I do have regular readers that aren’t related to me by blood or guilt.
I believe they’re all shut-ins.
(I kid! I kid! I love me some shut-ins!)
February 21st, 2007 at 11:40 am
Yes asshat is that great accessory that so many people don now a days.
People in my world often don “asshats”. Then there are the other people who are actually transformed into inanimate objects. They are called “fucksticks”. They are asshats multiplied by 4.
February 21st, 2007 at 11:49 am
mike: Hey. I knew it was ok.
I just couldn’t get anyone that also knew it was ok to be ok with me.
But I’m fine now…
February 21st, 2007 at 11:52 am
rubylou: Words are so powerful…
February 21st, 2007 at 2:06 pm
wtf? this kills me.
February 21st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I know… I keep trying to unpeel the logic… but my fingers just get sticky.
February 21st, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I dunno. Anything that gets you to say “asshat” more often does have some redeeming value.
February 21st, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Of course, that was just a slight rephrasing of your final line, wasn’t it? Well, you got me to say “asshat” more often, anyway, but that’s only because I’m wearing one.
February 21st, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Wow, I’ve never been called a “fine American reader” before. I am not sure “fine American” gets used too often anymore – so perhaps the correct parsing is “a fine reader that is incidently, through geopolitical accidents, also an American”.
How does asshat compare to buttmunch? Is asshat meant to make having your head up your ass sound like more of a fashion accessory than an issue of competence?
Fucksticks – oh, I am going to use this one!
February 22nd, 2007 at 12:21 am
Are you sure this falls under asshattery because it sounds more like jackassery to me? Not that it’s easy to distinguish between these two categories, but I definitely think this has an elevated level of pseudo-jackassiness in its details.
So what I’ve learned from your blog today, Sweeney, is that should I take pictures of myself licking my hoo-hahs, I should definitely not email them to myself or else, I may find myself in possession of kitty porn and thus, charged with beastiality.
Yes, I’ve elevated this to a whole new level: Fantastically f***ing flipped-out jackassery of the tenth degree.
Tip your asshat to that, Floridians!
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:43 am
Suldog: Don’t worry. Asshattery is like being crazy. If you worry if you are an asshat, you probably aren’t.
Unless you are…
g-dog: I will try and remember to use that distinction in the future. I wouldn’t want to be imprecise!
Zeus: I think this definitely falls under asshattery. Jackasses are much more aware of their own jackassery… yet completely unconcerned with the effects of their jackassery.
Asshats don’t know they’re asshats. Because they’re asshats.