they don’t teach this in business school
I was confused — the meeting was going easier than it should.
Our house is about two years overdue for an exterior paint job, so we’ve started getting painting companies to come give us estimates.
Our first appointment was this Saturday. The company rep had just finished doing his detailed examination of the exterior and was now sitting with me in our living room and we were discussing the estimate. (Note: My Lovely Wife had decided that it was far too early in the day to remove her pyjamas and was leaving the meeting to me. It was 2:30 in the afternoon.)
So, the rep was doing his pitch, telling me why his company was the absolutely bestest painting company we could hire… and I could tell — he’s off his game. He was repeating himself. Clearing his throat a lot. Saying “ummm” and “ahhh”. Occasionally his eyes would develop this thousand-yard stare… and then he’d shake himself out of it and flip through his notes, trying to get back on track. I may have been mistaken, but I think I saw his eyelid develop a tremor.
He was — for no discernible reason — hugely uncomfortable.
With absolutely no prompting on my part, he knocked 10% off the price he had just quoted me. He then gave me an extra month to consider the quote.
Then I realised what had been happening next to me on the couch.
The Large One was leaning against me and had been for the whole meeting.
Licking his genitals.
THAT’S FIFTEEN MINUTES OF GENITAL LICKING, PEOPLE.
Yeah. Let’s see how your sales pitch survives that.
February 26th, 2007 at 10:44 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
T LO comes in mighty handy in those situations it would seem!
February 26th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
That’s just plain hilarious! You realize that TLO should get extra cat treats for his part in this negotiation.
February 26th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Better him than –
Never mind.
February 26th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
That’s a great idea. I have a guy coming to my office in the morning to make a pitch. I’ll bet licking my genitals will get this company a great deal!
February 26th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Wow, if you can get the small one to do that too I bet you can get another 5% off the price.
Your cat is quite a negotiator - so cool under pressure “yeah, yeah, you’re the best, but somehow not interesting enough for me to raise my head and stop licking the twins.” Take him with you the next time you need to buy a car.
February 26th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Oh my GOD, I’m DYING!! 15 minutes??!
Well. You or any other boy can’t deny that you’d do the same doggone thing if you could.
I’m just saying.
February 27th, 2007 at 1:17 am
Give The Large One an extra helping of treats for such a fine genital licking display! I think the only way you could have saved more money is if you had decided it was time to clean your’s as well.
February 27th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Alison: TLO ain’t using his hands in those situations, which is what makes it so unnerving…
Suldog: While he may deserve extra treats, I don’t want him to get it in his head that genital licking leads to food. He’d never stop.
RJ: You were saying?…
Lefty: If you’d rather, The Large One is available on a contract basis for contract negotiations and hostage situations.
g-dog: I would have utilised The Small One if I could, but he was too busy doing his usual strangers-are-in-the-house job — making certain no monsters get under the covers of the bed farthest away from all strangers in the house.
JN: Oh yeah? And the ladies wouldn’t be interested either? HMMMMM?!
Zeus: But would it have been worth the savings? You see, I poo out of that place…