hmmm… what’s this? oh. IT’S MY BLOG.
THE INTERNETS: Where the hell have you been, Jason?! We’ve been worried sick!! And what’s with the magic beans?!
JASON: I sorry.
…
I have now discovered that you can actually procrastinate from procrastinating.
And that my brain has been shut down for too long.
I haven’t been updating this site. I haven’t been answering emails. I haven’t been doing ANYTHING.
(Well. I did watch the Battlestar Galactica season finale. One word review: “Whoa”. Repeated in large quantities.)
But that’s it.
My brain? It done gone to sleep for a spell.
I don’t know what happened. Here’s how it appeared to me:
- I got sick.
- My body shut down.
- My brain shut down.
- Time passed.
- My body got better.
- My brain remained shut down.
- Time passed.
- “Hey! My brain! It has awakened! This I do declare to be ‘Awesome’!”
I feel like a surly grizzly emerging from a long hibernation — “WHERE’S MY FOOD?! I’M AWAKE!! THINGS HAVE CHANGED AND I’M YELLING!! WHO PUT THAT TREE THERE?! I’M COVERED IN FUR AND I LIKE EATING SALMON!! I NEED TO PEE!! I WONDER WHO WON THE OSCAR FOR BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE PICTURE!! RAAAAAAR!!”
(Yes. I like bears today.)
Any-hoo… thanks for waiting. You all rock. (Your comments? They will all be answered. Wittily. With words and everything.)
So.
I am back.
“Your nose… it tastes like snot.”
March 28th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Thank you, Jesus, thank you, Allah, and thank you, Jewish God, and thank you as well, Buddha and Krishna, for making this possible! We have missed you, Sweeney!
March 28th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Your penchant for gross imagery has had a bad effect on me lately - I keep wanting to return the favour by describing my various types of puke to you. For the sake of your other readers, though, I have abstained… so far.
Glad to hear you’re feeling better!
<cookie for jason />
March 28th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Welcome back after your hibernation. Raar back atcha babe!
March 28th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Welcome back to the land of the living… and furless.
March 28th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Cookies all around! The first jar’s on me!
March 29th, 2007 at 5:12 am
Hooray!
I have missed the silliness
March 29th, 2007 at 8:34 am
Lazy hibernator. Sheesh. [shakes head]
What’s that…smell? And that crashing sound in the underbrush? Oh! No! Yipe! RUUUUUUNNN!
[thud]
AAAAAAGGGHHHH!
[sound of hungry chewing and snarling, bones crunching]
March 29th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Don’t ask me why, but this made me think of you.
March 29th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
But wait! Are you a grizzly or a black bear? And which is wittier? (I vote for the grizzly, since they do that humorous thing of tearing people’s faces off. (Sorry, by the way, if you had a friend or relative whose face was torn off by a grizzly. And my condolences.))
March 30th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Let’s see now. I may be losing track. I’ll count the posts on space monkey pants over the past eight days.
I’ll start counting now.
Okay — one…
Umm — one…
Hey!? One? This can’t be right. Stupid Internet. Where are all the rest?
Jason is not this quiet.
April 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Zeus: The Flying Spaghetti Monster thanks you for your good wishes.
Sis: Ahhh, puke descriptions. If only we could be so lucky…
Alison: I do have to say… the bears do give me a craving for some hunny…
RubyLou: My Lovely Wife may debate the furlessness with you, but I thank you for your good wishes.
Suldog: Yay! Jar cookies!
birchsprite: The Silliness has be woefully underused, and for that, I apologise.
Karen: Mockery of the just-woken bear will be met with swift and severe reprisals.
Sis: Cats on crotches… I think of me too.
Lefty: No worries. The whole ripping off of faces leaves me giggling too.
Jason’s Dad: Jason isn’t that quiet. His loudness is just going out into the real world at the present, instead of the vast collection of chutes and ladders that make up the Interwebs.