debatably useful superpowers: three examples
Appalachian Scabshift
Power Description: Using the power of my mind, I can teleport three scabs on my body anywhere within the Appalachian mountain range. (Note: Any attempt to teleport more or less than three scabs will give me a debilitating full-body ice-cream headache. So please don’t ask me to try.)
Ranchemy
Power Description: I can transmute any condiment into Paul Newman’s Own Ranch Dressing. All I need to do is coat my body with the condiment, clap my hands, and presto! — Ranch dressing for everyone!
Smiley Projection
Power Description: I can transfer my consciousness into the Astral Plane! However, my soul manifests itself in the semblance of Guy Smiley. And I will smell of strong cheese for about three days afterwards. (This may actually constitute two superpowers.)
June 4th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
I…
Well, you know, there’s…
Sometimes, what seems worthless is actually…
Nope. I got nothing. You win.
June 4th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Smiley
In case anybody else needs to check on who GS is.
My life is so boring that I can only project to the astral plain.
Also - another possible “superpower”:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1739289716
June 5th, 2007 at 6:38 am
I can make chocolate biscuits disappear in a jiffy
now that’s a superpower
June 5th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Suldog: Oh… we’re just starting. I got millions of these.
g-dog: I wonder if there is a Wordpress plugin that will automatically insert rimshots after bad jokes…
birchsprite: And there is no debating the usefulness of that superpower.
June 5th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
A rimshot - that would be cool! What would I get for a good joke?
June 7th, 2007 at 9:24 am
A cookie.
June 7th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Mmmm - cookie(s) - good choice. I’ll try harder!