cookiewatch: the waiting continues…
Eleven days. No cookies.
I begin to feel… a darkness building inside me.
As if some elder god, imprisoned before the birth of time, imprisoned in a universe of formlessness and pain, has arisen from its epochal slumber and rears its crystalline back against its prison walls, its many, many eyes turning toward our reality, crumpling the boundaries of mortality and sanity, and its cry — O! its keening cry — the sound of madness and tears, of death and resurrection, breaking all ties of love and reason…
I hold on, keeping the elder darkness at bay.
But how much longer… how much longer can I maintain my grasp?
And what will happen… when I must let go?
[The universal firmament trembles. You go insane.]
June 12th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Dude, it just occurred to me. Older Son’s Swiss Chalet happy meal (I’m not even going to attempt to ascertain what that is called) came with two OREO cookies which, when offered alongside an All-Bran bar, remained in their protective cellophane packaging (and continue to do so, even today.)
Perhaps they were destined to be yours? Have we unknowingly upset the space-time-cookie continuum?
If so, you may pick them up at your earliest convenience, or arrange for a mutually beneficial time and place for the reparations to be made.
-Mike
June 12th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
*chomp*
*crunch-crunch-crunch*
June 12th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
you have a excellent vocabulary while your soul is in such torment and longing …
perhaps the elder god is waiting until you are a mere shell of your former self, reduced to a drooling-monosyllabic-haven’t bathed for -broken man …
just wondering…
June 12th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
if you email me an address–you might find something more pacifying than an incendiary device in your mailbox shortly thereafter. Or you might not. I’m just sayin’.
June 13th, 2007 at 7:23 am
So is Cookie Monster just a child friendly front for Cthullu?
June 13th, 2007 at 8:18 am
I wonder - does it count if someone who knows about CookieWatch gives you a cookie?
June 13th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Not to prolong this man’s torture, but my reading would be that it has to be a randomly-occurring cookie.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I might have an out for you, though. Suppose you cruise the web for a while. You’re almost sure to pick up a cookie somewhere. Not an oreo, but technically…
June 13th, 2007 at 11:20 am
To everyone:
Ahem.
And just so everyone knows… the fateful cookies that arrived at my desk this morning were complete random and free of Cookiewatch-knowledge. Thus I enjoyed them totally and without a single gram of guilt-taint that I had goaded anyone into giving me cookies.
Mike: Nice concern for the space-time continuum… if I had the fate of the space-time continuum in my hands, I would have brought the cookies over… but that’s just me…
RJ? That was just cruel. Jerk. [Sobs gently in remembrance.]
g-dog: Either way, the elder god is pretty much a jerk.
Ahhh, Sadie, you would have totally rocked the house with a bucket of cookies if you actually had any idea where I was. Rock on.
Scott: I think it’s pretty obvious what the answer to that is.
Sis & Suldog: It wasn’t necessary that the cookie be totally random, but it was better. Less tainted.
June 13th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Since when does eating a carrot = cruel?
Well sure if you’re (a) Bugs Bunny and (b) starving and (c) I’m eating said carrot out of spite then maybe.
I can’t believe you think I’d just, you know, DROP IN HERE and start eating cookies.
I feel like a whupped-for-nothing step-child and I gotta say it’s not a nice feeling.
Small wonder I fill my day with comfort food. Like these cookies.
Carrots. I meant carrots. They’re definitely carrots, all crunchy and everything. And I have no idea where these crumbs came from. Well yes they came from cookies. But they’re not mine. Must have picked them up walking around, some kind of random airborne cookie-crumb electrostatic cling thing.
I’m rambling, aren’t I. Okay I’m stopping. Okay.
Would you like a cookie? Today I have two.