cookiewatch: deliverance
What’s this?
[Heavenly trumpets sound.]
MMmmMMMMmmmMMMmmAAAaaah sooooo goood oh! that’s a dark chocolate chip! oh yeah this thing’s almost a brownie! savour it savour this thing don’t rush it your body’s not used to the good stuff you don’t wanna cramp take your time breathe just breeeeeeathe in out in out that’s it slooooowly chew it real good break that cookie DOWN good work Jason you can do it you will master this cookie you will make this cookie your bitch O Sweet Lord of Cookies I will never doubt you nor the power and tastiness of your holy avatar the mighty Cookie all hail the great LORD OF COOKIE ohohohohohoh gonna black out there are TWO OF THEM THIS IS NOT A SINGLE COOKIE BEFORE ME THIS IS TWO TWOTWOTWOTWOTWO COOKIES mmwahmmwahmmwah oh freaking YES screw savouring it’s BEEN TOO LONG MWAHMWAHMWAHMWAHMWAAAAAAAH-
[Crumbs fly in a deadly barrage. The magnetic poles reverse. Birds plummet from the sky. Whales crawl onto land. Bloggers stop posting pictures of cats. Mass pandemonium.]
[Silence. A single feather floats down.]
Oh yeah.
I’m back, baby.
[Holds up glowing fist of power. Heavenly trumpets kick in with an awesome encore.]
June 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
*whispers*
cookie murderer
*runs away*
June 13th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
It’s like a movie or something. A cookie epic.
Also apparently cookie deliverance doesn’t involve dueling banjo-guitar riffs and other… unpleasantness. So that’s good.
June 13th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
“bloggers stop posting pictures of cats”
That made me spit out my cookie.
June 13th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I could totally picture you eating that second cookie, and you looked JUST like Cookie Monster. Except you have a throat, so you actually got to swallow some of the cookie
June 14th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
But did the cookie come to you? Or did you break down and disregard your sacred vow?
June 14th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
birchsprite: Yeah. so? [Murderous glare.]
RJ: Now cookies will always make me think of banjos. Thanks.
Suldog: Yet AGAIN with the not-sharing-of-cookies!
My Sis: Including the blue fur?
Lefty: The cookie was totally random. Offered by a non-reader of this site, that was totally unaware of my intrinsic reliance on the healing power of The Cookie. Which is probably why it tasted so good.
Or I’m assuming they are not a reader of this site. If so, my cover is blown. [Shifty eyes.]
June 15th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Yes, including the blue fur, wide flappy mouth, and googly eyes. And while you ate it you said: “Ahmyumyumyumyumyumyumyumyumyumyum!!!” in a monstery voice. Then you said: “ME LOVE COOKIEEEES!!”
June 15th, 2007 at 11:22 am
You have become the devourer of lost confectionary souls. To look upon your crumb festooned chin is to look upon the very tendrils of madness.