mixed messages
I’m home after a night of Ultimate. I put my cleats in the back porch and head into the kitchen to feed the boys.
From upstairs, I hear a quiet song. It’s My Lovely Wife.
“I’m… looooooonely…”
I smile. Boys fed, I empty the dishwasher.
The song continues.
“So looooooonely… lonely… lonely… lonely…”
I’m getting the distinct impression that I’m being sent a message. Dishwasher emptied, I start to fill it with dirty dishes.
“Soooo… very alooooooooone…”
I hold firm. I have chores to do and I will finish them. I put the last of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
“Just me… and noooooooobody else…”
I place my hands on the counter and take a deep breath. I will not break. I take a bowl of leftover chili from the fridge, put it in the microwave, and set it for three minutes.
There is a pause, where the only sound is the loud and slightly ominous WHIRWHIRWHIRCLICKwhirWHIR from our far-too-cheap-but-stylish microwave.
And then…
“LOOOOOOONELY! LONE-LONE-LONE- LOOOOOONELY! I’m all alone! Nobody loves meeeeee… I will just… WITHER AWAYAYAYAYAY… soooooooooooo… loooooooooone… LEEEEEEEEEEEEE!…”
I bow my head. Conceding defeat, I head upstairs.
I come into the bedroom and sit down on the bed next to My Lovely Wife.
“Okay. I’m here.”
She looks up from her book and sighs.
“I’m TRYING to finish this chapter…”
She resumes reading. I head back downstairs.
Her victory is complete.
June 20th, 2007 at 10:31 am
I love your wife!
June 20th, 2007 at 10:39 am
That’s totally harsh.
Though most likely well deserved.
As I ponder the extent of her planning… wow. You are *so* pwned.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Was she saying she was “lonely” or “looney”?? If “looney”, well that could explain a lot of things, for instance the whole “Mrs. Monkey Pants” thing. If “lonely” - she is clearly chock-full of Evil Genius. But FSM love her either way!
June 20th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
I say your wife is evil and should be made to pay. Next time you empty the dishwasher, put a tea spoon in with the serving spoons. That’ll teach her!
June 21st, 2007 at 3:36 pm
birchsprite: Me too!
RJ: Pwned indeed. Sigh.
Sis: Ahem. “Lonely”. [Discreet cough after changing mistyped text.]]
Suldog: Unfortunately, I’d probably get so OCD over the whole thing I’d go and put it in the right spot before she ever noticed.
June 22nd, 2007 at 11:18 am
Isn’t it awful how the women always win like that?
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I don’t know. I got to marry her. I’ll take that as a win.