the perils of hydration

I have-

[Sudden frantic scurrying sounds, then silence. Pause. Calm walking sound.]

I have discovered that I haveDAMN-

[Even more frantic scurrying sounds. A loud BANG! as a human body collides with a filing cabinet, followed by silence. Another pause. Grumpy walking sound.]

IhavediscoveredthatIhaveabladderthesizeofagummibearDONE.

[Expectant pause.]

I think we’re good.

[Sound of drinking. Pause.]

AWFRIGGINHELL-

[World-record-breaking scurrying noises. Silence.]


7 Responses to “the perils of hydration”

  1. Lefty Says:

    Fortunately, I’m sure, there was a seminar at BlogHim about using trees, bushes, empty beverage cups, desk drawers, etc. for emptying said bladder in an emergency.

  2. g-dog Says:

    catheter……

  3. sween Says:

    Lefty: Oh god — the whole afternoon of day two was all the joys of peeing standing up. Sigh. It’s awesome.

    g-dog: Catheter!! Why didn’t I think of that??

    Urk… aaaaaaaa… ummm… unh!

    [Painful bodily noises.]

    Oh. That’s why.

    Ow.

  4. Jason's Sis Says:

    Be glad you’ll never be pregnant. Sometimes the mere act of standing up from the toilet is enough to make me need to pee again.

    Also, I have given up the idea of having a solid 8 hours of sleep at night for at least, say, the next 5 or 6 years.

  5. endangeredcoffee Says:

    I’ve known my bladder has been the size of a very, small, shriveled up bean for years.

    Sucks.

  6. g-dog Says:

    space monkey tiny tanks…

  7. Karen Says:

    Do gummi bears pee?

make with the yak-yak

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