Twelve years ago today, I went to see a less-than-perfect first date movie with My Future Lovely Wife.

This year I turned 36.

That means she’s been rolling her eyes at me for one-third of my life.

(Which she will do when she reads that last sentence.)

You know how in stories when people get magic wishes and they think they know what their greatest wish is and then when they make their wish it always backfires?

It doesn’t always happen like it does in the stories.

You see, I couldn’t know that she was my wish before I met her.

But it’s pretty spectacular that it came true.

• Jurgen Nation: “Holding Out For a Hero: On Fictional Crime Television”

“Oh. Excuse me, kind sir, but where’s the quote?” you ask.

Just pick one. The whole post is a burning incandescent sun of HAWSOME.

I got my MooCards! Yee-Haw!

For those that are interested, here are the original pictures I used for the cards:

• Robot
• Gorilla
• Destitute Orphan Boys

I’m so pleased with myself I could spit.

…

Really — when did expectoration become a sign of pleasure, I ask you?

I changed my mind. I’m relegating my Twitter posts to the sidecar- er, sidebar.

[Cough.]

You may now return to your regularly scheduled interweb activities.

[Pause.]

Fine. I’ll go. But I know you’re going to look at porn.

Salami is pretty awesome if you think about it. Well… actually, don’t think about it too much. Then it loses the mystique.