deep sleep questions

My Lovely Wife has a very interesting quirk.

If she just barely wakes up — and I mean just barely — the weirdest stuff comes out of her mouth. She starts spouting off random, totally unrelated words. Like, “Horseradish! Samsonite! Palamino! Oligarchy!”

I’ve told her about this and sometimes she tries to fool me into thinking she’s asleep. But it’s never the same. She either just makes up completely nonsensical sounds — “Blah! Fneck! Schlurg!” — or uses words that are too small and/or related to each other — “Cat! Pee! And poop! Heehee!”

Not the same.

This morning however… she moved past words and into the realm of full-on sentences. I was up — like I so often am on Saturdays — at 7:00. (Stupid ingrained sleep patterns.) So I’m doing my regular tiptoeing around, getting the laptop, working my way through my RSS feeds.

Suddenly, My Lovely Wife’s head shoots up off the pillow and — without opening her eyes — turns her head from side to side and yells:

“Who’s there? What’s going on? Who killed Kennedy?”

And then she fell back asleep for another hour and a half.

Never boring.


6 Responses to “deep sleep questions”

  1. jenny Says:

    OMG - that’s awesome! What does she know about the grassy knoll?

    My friend’s husband is also a sleeptalker, and her favorite story is when he started saying the word lemur over and over with different pronunciations: LEE-mur, LEH-mur, luh-MYUR.

    I need to find me a sleeptalker. Endless fun, it would seem.

  2. Suldog Says:

    MY WIFE is similarly entertainingly afflicted. She’ll usually let fly a question or two (”Why is that bird here? Rutabaga cupcakes?”) and then go back to sleep. It’s loads of fun.

  3. Karen Says:

    Is the “f” silent in “fneck”?

    My older son talks in his sleep all the time and late at night when I’m working I’ll hear him shouting from his room. Once he was talking about cows….in Spanish. I also hear him sleep-talking in French sometimes. Weird.

  4. sween Says:

    Last night My Lovely Wife created a new word when I came to bed:

    “Saddlesnakes”

    I… must know what they are…

    (PS: The ‘f’ in “fneck” is most certainly not silent. Unless you are some sort of philistine.)

  5. Chad Says:

    Umm..ok….

    So, my girlfriend is Russian by birth, but American by upbringing. Her parents speak russian to each other, and my girlfriend does as well…. I’m sure you can see where this is going…. She sits upright and yells in Russian. It’s quite disconcerting.

    So…. Count your lucky stars my friend.

  6. The Super Bongo Says:

    my own main squeeze swears that one time, while trying to shove me over in order to claim some small bit of bed . . .I sat up, yelled “god damn it” and rolled over and never broke snores.

make with the yak-yak

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