On a road trip for work today, in a different city.

And I have a question.

Is it wrong to feel slightly offended when your ability to successfully utilize instructions to the coffee shop fails and you are forced to return to the Giver Of Instructions for a second attempt?

And prior to elaborating on the instructions, the Giver Of Instructions ever-so-slightly scolds you for not being able to follow such a simple set of directions?

As if she were gently — oh, so gently — rubbing your nose in the poop you left on her nice clean floor?

And once the Giver Of Instructions begins to break the instructions down further — using one syllable words, expansive gestures, and a whole lot of volume (like a tourist in a foreign land) — I realise something?

That when she said “Go down the stairs and there you are”, she didn’t actually mean “Go down the stairs and there you are!“?

Instead, she honestly believed that it should have been obvious — even to me and my little brown-stained snout — that “Go down the stairs and there you are” actually meant “Go down the hall, take the unmarked door, walk forty feet down a hallway, enter an open atrium, go the stairs hidden behind the plants at the back of the atrium (not those plants — THOSE plants), go down the stairs, discover you are in a second subterranean atrium, walk through the scrum of people, look for the unmarked white wooden dividers — unmarked white wooden dividers that TOTALLY AND UTTERLY HIDE THE COFFEE SHOP FROM THE SIGHT OF BOTH MAN AND BEAST — and then look behind them and there you are!“?

Is it wrong?

…

I’m not saying that I’m going to take her children and then cook them in a pie and then feed her the pie and then tell her what was in the pie and then watch her regret eating the pie or anything like that.

It’s how I roll.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 14th, 2008 at 10:36 am and is filed under hmmm..., grumble. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.