archive for November 2008

movember (or “why is jason celibate this month?”)

the movember stache

I have a moustache.

(Somewhere at this moment, My Lovely Wife just threw up a little in her mouth.)

However, I do not simply have this moustache for the purpose of nauseating My Lovely Wife. Oh no. That is simply an added bonus.

This is a charity ’stache. For I am taking part in MOVEMBER.

What is Movember? Short answer: Guys grow moustaches in November. People sponsor their tonsorial glory. Money goes to Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canada. (Long answer: I’ll let them explain.)

So, this is my oh-so-late call out to you, my horde of humanitarianism, to open your wallets and BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ‘STACHE! FOR IT IS YOUR LORD AND MASTER! DESPAIR! DESPAIR!


[The vast multitude opens their wallets. Then run weeping into the badlands. Buzzards follow.]


burn baby burn

Enough with this shit.

I’ve spent most of the last six months building quite an impressive fortress out of mental stumbling blocks, insecurities, and guilt. It was hugely impressive and made for some nice pictures and did fuck all to my self-worth and productivity.

This is me pouring oil over the whole shebang and lighting a match.

The wait is over.

Space Monkey Pants is back.

Boo-yah, motherfuckers.