Holy crap. That was a week. Three news items — BANG! BANG! BANG! — that set my geek heart a-flutter:

• FIRST! The Sci-Fi Channel announces that they will be creating a 6-hour miniseries (producers include George Freaking Clooney) of Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age: Or a Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer. (If I haven’t mentioned it before. Neal Stephenson is my FAVOURITE author and if you haven’t you should read his Cryptonomicon right now. Go. We’ll be here when you get back.)
• SECOND! HBO has announced they are going to be making George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire into a motherfrakking TELEVISION SERIES! Gah! One of the best (not to mention bloody, brutal, and morally ambiguous) fantasy series out there, coming to us from the network that gave us The Sopranos, Deadwood, and Rome. My geek-o-meter is CLIMBING INTO THE RED HERE, PEOPLE.
• THIRD! G-FORCE! THE MOVIE!

I can’t take it any more. My geek organ… it is burst.

All this AND a new episode of Battlestar Galactica this weekend?

I will say it.

IT’S BETTER THAN COOKIES.

• AnswerWiki: “If the animals from South America had a ‘rumble’ with the animals from Africa… which group of animals would win, and why?” (via digg)

I am in awe of this complete and cogent argument. Truly.

There exists a large inflatable pool filled to the brim with awe and I am in it… doing laps.

I have nothing funny to add here.

All the funny is in the article. Go read it. Now.

• Associated Press: “World’s Tallest Man Saves China Dolphins” (via CBC News)

The long arms of the world’s tallest man reached in and saved two dolphins by pulling out plastic from their stomachs, state media and an aquarium official said Thursday.

The dolphins got sick after nibbling on plastic from the edge of their pool at an aquarium in Liaoning province. Attempts to use surgical instruments to remove the plastic failed because the dolphins’ stomachs contracted in response to the instruments, the China Daily newspaper reported.

Veterinarians then decided to ask for help from Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia with 41.7-inch arms, state media said.

Bao, 54, was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s tallest living man.

You know, it may not be the superpower I would have picked, but this is pretty freaking awesome.

Dolphins are invited to send cookies and really big shoes in appreciation.

Those moments when the stars of geekdom all seem to align in harmonious conjunction, when the elements add up to a pure geek gestalt that makes your skin tingle, your smile stretch to the back of your head, and you find yourself helplessly jumping up and down in your seat?

I call that a geek bomb.

Personal examples?

• In Pulp Fiction, when Butch picks up the baseball bat, then picks up the chainsaw, and then sees the purest of pure geek weapons — HOLY HELL, IT’S A FREAKING SAMURAI SWORD — hanging on the wall? Geek bomb.
• In Raiders of the Lost Ark, when the Nazis drive off with the Ark of the Covenant, and then Indy appears [insert Raiders theme here] chasing after them ON A FREAKING HORSE? Geek bomb. (Echoed later on by an equally powerful geek bomb when he appears on the deck of the submarine. Hoo-whee.)
• In Superman Returns, when Superman lifts THE ENTIRE FREAKING KRYPTO-CONTINENT into space, finally showing on screen the incredibly massive moving-planets-if-he-so-chooses strength that comic book fans know Superman has but have never gotten to see? Geek bomb.

I could go on in this vein FOR DAYS… but I do have a point.

Last night’s episode of Heroes.

Seen it?

If not, I will keep this spoiler-free.

Suffice it to say… I got ONE MOTHER OF A GEEK BOMB last night.

If you saw it, you probably know what I’m taking about.

My glee reservoirs? They are full.

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Got your own personal geek bombs? Then delurk, my pollen-dusted readers… delurk!

• Wired: “Very Short Stories” (via Whedonesque)

Authors write six word short stories.

I must try my neophyte hand.

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Godzilla takes holiday. Disneyland utterly destroyed.

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He regretted peeing in the shower.

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Aliens land on Earth. Wackiness ensues!

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William Tell suddenly childless. Apple unscathed.

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Firestorms incinerating Mercury, he regretted nothing.

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Underestimating the kittens was humanity’s downfall.

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Once upon a time the end.