Just wanted to share one thought totally unrelated to my travels and adventures.

[Deep breath.]

OMG!! BSG IS BACK!! BSG IS BACK!! BSG IS BACK!!

[Cough.]

That is all.

Excuse me. I have an appointment with mucus.

“Every time you leave the single word “FAIL” as a blog comment, people mentally count the flecks of eczema & pepperoni in your lonely goatee.”

- Merlin Mann

Probably about the next two hours were spent training BBEdit to do text replacements the way that I want it to. And it agreed very nicely. And then made me a very nice latte with lots of foam. And rubbed my feet. Holy crap is it nice using software designed to be user-friendly and powerful. I do believe this trial period will end with me paying for a BBEdit License. Unless someone knows of a comparable Mac text editor with FTP capabilities and the ability to totally hack the keyboard shortcuts…

And the last hour was spent doing actual work. Yay.

I do feel like I’m working with about one arm, two fingers, and about 1/3 of my regular brain capacity. I NEED MY INTERNET! Damn damn damn damn damn… I’m crawling out of my skin up here… I can make it though. Landing in Calgary in about half an hour and then I have almost three ours in which to find a clean vein and shoot up some pure grade INTAWEB straight to my central nervous system.

Whoops. Seats up in the full upright and locked position. Gotta go…

…

Awwww CRAP.

Stupid Telus. Stupid stupid Telus.

I’m in Calgary and I have no internet.

I was willing to pay for internet access. I was ready to pay through my freaking NOSE.

But NOOOOoooOOOOoooo… Telus Hotspot Service is “temporarily unavailable”. Phaw. Telus service is a big dodohead an he likes to eat stinky poos. Really stinky poos. Like, when my sisterwhoeatspoofor two eats poo, the poos that come out of her. Poo MADE from poo. That stinky.

Crap.

Oh well. At least I get to recharge.

And drink coffee. Mmmmm… coffee.

…

Later. Still Calgary. (The Rockies! In the distance. Hi, Mountains!)

Telus is up now.

At $10.00 a freaking hour.

Considering that my flight is boarding in 2 minutes… my nose is less willing to be a conduit of payment than it was previously. So, I must wait until Vancouver to pay through the nose.

What is with the whole paying for Wifi in airports? Is it really that expensive for them? Is gouging us really that fun? (“Whee! Let us sing the Gouging Song! Gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge gouge goooooooooooooge… GOUGE! GOUGE! GOUGE! Lovely. Good job everyone. Gerald, a little less vibrato next time, thank you very much. This is a fight song, not The Barber of Seville. Don’t look at me like that, Gerald. Gerald. Gerald. Please don’t cry. Oh, Gerald.”) Just imagine how much happier people in airports could be if they didn’t have bullcrap Wifi fees rammed sideways up their poopchutes.

…

Heh. “Poopchutes”.

…

That’s it. I’m watching Battlestar Galactica on this leg of my journey. I can work later.

…

Well… it seems that Banana can’t suck up the juice too fast. I’ve got about 15 more minutes of juice until I can charge her up in Vancouver. Thus concludes my BSG watching extravaganza. Oh well,

One awesome thing: MOUNTAINS! MOUNTAINS! MOUNTAINS!

Please join me in a rousing chorus of “Woot!”

After gazing slack-jawed for a couple of minutes, I did have the presence of mind to grab my camera to take a picture of the Rockies from above… just as we hit the cloud cover. So. Sorry No photo.

I’m signing off again. For a bit. I got me some podcasts to listen too.

Getting hungry too. Mrph.

…

Vancouver. Fog. Cloud cover. No view. Expensive internet. Should I pay for it?… Nope. The end of the road is near. I’ll log in at the hotel.

…

Review: Harvey’s hamburgers suck.

…

Landed in Prince George. I’m in the complimentary shuttle that the conference has set up, waiting for the slowpokes to get their luggage stowed. It’s 4:40 local time. My body thinks it is 8:40. Supper is gonna be weird.

I want to get in my room. And eat. AND GET ONLINE. YAAARGH.

Nice side effect of the new keyboard — it making me unlearn my pounding keyboarding habits. Maybe I won’t wake up the neighbours anymore.

(Nice Banana. I love my Banana. I would never hurt my Banana.)

…

I’M HERE! I’M HERE! I’M HERE!

Especially if by “here” you are referring to the middle of nowhere.

And for the one person from Prince George that reads this in two years doing a search for “free banana poopchutes in Prince George”, I’m not saying that Prince George is in the middle of nowhere.

My hotel is in the middle of nowhere.

There’s a gas station across the street. And a Chinese restaurant. About half a mile down there are a few tractor dealerships.

Oh, and the hotel has a casino.

As I have on occasion offered to win a bear for My Lovely Wife at the fair and left having spent over $40.00… this could be a bad thing.

Whatever the case… I need sustenance. I’m signing out for now. Will report more later.

…

One more note. I tried to take a picture of the view from my hotel room, but my camera turned itself off in protest. Sorry. The view really is that boring.

• Boing Boing Gadgets: “Official LEGO Star Wars AT-AT Walker”

I’m sorry, but this takes the toys of my childhood and kicks them in their tiny, charmingly-nostalgic balls.

• YouTube: “Stabbing at Leia’s 22nd Birthday” (NSFW language) (via linkbunnies)

God.

Jedis are such assholes.

• FIRST! The Sci-Fi Channel announces that they will be creating a 6-hour miniseries (producers include George Freaking Clooney) of Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age: Or a Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer. (If I haven’t mentioned it before. Neal Stephenson is my FAVOURITE author and if you haven’t you should read his Cryptonomicon right now. Go. We’ll be here when you get back.)
• SECOND! HBO has announced they are going to be making George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire into a motherfrakking TELEVISION SERIES! Gah! One of the best (not to mention bloody, brutal, and morally ambiguous) fantasy series out there, coming to us from the network that gave us The Sopranos, Deadwood, and Rome. My geek-o-meter is CLIMBING INTO THE RED HERE, PEOPLE.
• THIRD! G-FORCE! THE MOVIE!

I can’t take it any more. My geek organ… it is burst.

All this AND a new episode of Battlestar Galactica this weekend?

I will say it.

IT’S BETTER THAN COOKIES.

I call that a geek bomb.

Personal examples?

• In Pulp Fiction, when Butch picks up the baseball bat, then picks up the chainsaw, and then sees the purest of pure geek weapons — HOLY HELL, IT’S A FREAKING SAMURAI SWORD — hanging on the wall? Geek bomb.
• In Raiders of the Lost Ark, when the Nazis drive off with the Ark of the Covenant, and then Indy appears [insert Raiders theme here] chasing after them ON A FREAKING HORSE? Geek bomb. (Echoed later on by an equally powerful geek bomb when he appears on the deck of the submarine. Hoo-whee.)
• In Superman Returns, when Superman lifts THE ENTIRE FREAKING KRYPTO-CONTINENT into space, finally showing on screen the incredibly massive moving-planets-if-he-so-chooses strength that comic book fans know Superman has but have never gotten to see? Geek bomb.

I could go on in this vein FOR DAYS… but I do have a point.

Last night’s episode of Heroes.

Seen it?

If not, I will keep this spoiler-free.

Suffice it to say… I got ONE MOTHER OF A GEEK BOMB last night.

If you saw it, you probably know what I’m taking about.

My glee reservoirs? They are full.

…

Got your own personal geek bombs? Then delurk, my pollen-dusted readers… delurk!

• Polymathematics: “No, I’m Sorry, It Does.” (via digg)

This rules. I haven’t read a more fun (“funner”? “more wicked”? “wickeder”?!) argument online in a long time. (The comments over on digg are friggin’ awesome.)

And it’s about freaking math.

Basically…

0.99999… = 1

Or not.

Depending on which argument you accept. Or ignore. Or beat off with a flaming sword.

This could be the geekiest thing I’ve done in a long time, but I’m having a stupendous time following the math war.

[Snort snort snort!]

UPDATE: Oh, look. There’s a Wikipedia article on it too.

(Pant pant pant.)

Ok, I’m fi-

AAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!!!

Wait wait wait let me just say-

AAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!!!

(Tears of geekish heartbreak splattering on the floor.)

I can’t go on. It’s like someone hawked a loogie on my comic collection.

• ComingSoon.net: “Original Unaltered Star Wars Trilogy on DVD!” (via The Movie Blog)

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of “Star Wars,” “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Return of the Jedi.” Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie, as well as the original theatrical edition of the film. That means you’ll be able to enjoy “Star Wars” as it first appeared in 1977, “Empire” in 1980, and “Jedi” in 1983.

Cookies for everyone!