archive for the 'lists' category

25 Holo-Chess Strategies Tested by Chewbacca (in order)

  1. wet willies
  2. sexily removing bandolier
  3. regurgitation
  4. Jedi mind trick
  5. Wookiee mind trick
  6. Card trick
  7. purple nurples
  8. singing Life Day carols
  9. threatening to release flock of mynocks
  10. releasing flock of mynocks
  11. hair-pulling
  12. slam-poetry
  13. tongue-kissing
  14. 85-slide PowerPoint deck
  15. doing the Hokey-Pokey
  16. doing the Pigeon
  17. doing opponent’s mom
  18. noogies
  19. more slam-poetry
  20. Super-Poking opponent on Facebook
  21. Jello-shots
  22. playing bootleg Zydeco recordings
  23. defending Zydeco as a musical genre
  24. tears
  25. ripping opponent’s arms out of their sockets

five words i invented while lying face down in the grass after pulling my calf

  1. “damnabundlelickah”
  2. “fuhfuhfuhungh”
  3. “owowowowowowagada”
  4. “sississufahahahahahuhsunuvagabalager”
  5. “kunǃnk” [Note the postalveolar click]

really immature animal names

[From Wikipedia's "List of animal names"]

  • Ass
  • Beaver
  • Crab
  • Dingo
  • Limpet
  • Mole
  • Peafowl
  • Portuguese Man ‘o’ War
  • Smelt
  • Swallow
  • Woodcock
  • Yak

I am merely a conduit of knowledge.

And please remember… this could have been much worse.

12 renamings of tuesday that failed as internet memes

  1. Unexplained-Bruiseday
  2. Poorly-Maintained-Zoosday
  3. White-Suburban-Teenager-Singing-the-Bluesday
  4. It-Hasn’t-Been-The-Same-Since-Steven-Burns-Left-Blues-Cluesday
  5. Regret-Our-Poorly-Chosen-Tattoosday
  6. Inappropriate-Leering-At-Ewesday
  7. Let’s-All-Sort-Our-Shoesday
  8. A-Smorgasbord-Of-West-African-Palace-Coupsday
  9. The-Pus-It-Does-Oozeday
  10. Scholarly-Discussion-Of-19th-Century-Hungarian-Taboosday
  11. Unpleasant-Kangaroosday
  12. Wednesday

Sigh. They can’t all be Caturday.

UPDATE: Speaking of Caturday… World Famous Random Kitten Generator!

judging the year that was

Is the onset of winter leeching into your bones? Feeling out-of-sorts? Sugar rush dissipating?

Well then, why not grab a coffee, put the phone on call-forwarding, and enjoy yourself a little procrastination-time with this evergrowing grab-bag of “Best of 2005″ lists.

What, you were planning on doing work?

Riiiiiight…