space monkey pants » malaysia http://spacemonkeypants.com eating bananas in space for the good of mankind Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:26:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 malaysia lessons: birds http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/05/01/malaysia-lessons-birds/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/05/01/malaysia-lessons-birds/#comments Thu, 01 May 2008 18:23:34 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/05/01/malaysia-lessons-birds/ Boid

Lesson learned: If you are in the World’s Largest Covered Bird Park, expect poop.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/05/01/malaysia-lessons-birds/feed/ 3 malaysia lessons: monorails http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/30/malaysia-lessons-monorails/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/30/malaysia-lessons-monorails/#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:56:24 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/30/malaysia-lessons-monorails/ Monorail!

Lesson learned: Monorails do exist outside of Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway.

And yes — it really does glide as softly as a cloud.

…

What do you mean I’ve missed two days of Malaysia Lessons?

Bah. I scorn you and your Western liberal ideas of “counting”.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/30/malaysia-lessons-monorails/feed/ 2 malaysia lessons: concorde inn http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/27/malaysia-lessons-concorde-inn/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/27/malaysia-lessons-concorde-inn/#comments Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:26:03 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/27/malaysia-lessons-concorde-inn/ Lesson learned: Never ever stay at the Concorde Inn KLIA.

That is, unless you have predilection for ants, a distinct lack of hot water, and truly atrocious customer service.

I don’t know. That may be your thing.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/27/malaysia-lessons-concorde-inn/feed/ 0 malaysia lessons: bachelor party http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/26/malaysia-lessons-bachelor-party/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/26/malaysia-lessons-bachelor-party/#comments Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:31:03 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/26/malaysia-lessons-bachelor-party/ Lesson learned: If you are the groom-to-be, and you are at your bachelor party, and one of your groomsmen says, “We are going to get you sooOOooOOoo drunk!”, the proper response is not:

“Can’t be done — I’m INVINCIBLE.”

You are not.

And it will be proven to you.

In tequila.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/26/malaysia-lessons-bachelor-party/feed/ 0 photographic evidence of my travel to malaysia http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/photographic-evidence-of-my-travel-to-malaysia/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/photographic-evidence-of-my-travel-to-malaysia/#comments Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:17:09 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/photographic-evidence-of-my-travel-to-malaysia/ By the bye, if you are looking for photographic evidence that I actually did go to Malaysia and not just hole up in my house re-watching the first two seasons of BSG (for the uninitiated, that is the dread and wonderful Battlestar Galactica)*, then have at it:

* For the record, I re-watched the first two seasons of Battlestar Galactica AFTER I returned from Malaysia.

So don’t fret that I have been insufficiently entertained.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/photographic-evidence-of-my-travel-to-malaysia/feed/ 1 malaysia lessons: clownfish http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-clownfish/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-clownfish/#comments Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:03:17 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-clownfish/ clownfish are assholes

Finding Nemo is a lie.

Oh yeah, they look all cute when you’re happily snorkeling.

There they are, peeking their little faces out from inside the anemone. Adorable!

And there they are, skittishly swimming partway up to see you. Awww! He’s curious!

And there they are, bashfully swimming away. He’s shy!

And there they are, screwing up their courage for a closer look. What a little trooper!

And there I am, distracted by the shiny blue fish that just raced by, so I turn around, and-

CHOMP!

The little bugger FRICKING BIT ME!

Over the course of two hours snorkeling, three clownfish bit me.

Lesson learned: clownfish are assholes.

[Photo credit: Mshai]

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-clownfish/feed/ 0 malaysia lessons: intro http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-intro/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-intro/#comments Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:24:42 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-intro/ In lieu of a friggin Viking saga of my trip to Malaysia — because I suck I’m stuck in a mineshaft I’m really busy no really I’m stuck in a mineshaft please send help mineshaft is a funny word if you think about it what am I saying no one is going to send help they’ll just laugh ya friggin jerks I’ll just stick with I’m really busy I’ll just slowly starve in this mineshaft some curtains would brighten the place up though — I shall proceed to spend the next month regalling y’all with bite-sized chunks of what I learned in Malaysia.

Stay tuned.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/25/malaysia-lessons-intro/feed/ 5 back from malaysia http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/07/back-from-malaysia/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/07/back-from-malaysia/#comments Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:03:02 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/07/back-from-malaysia/ Home safe.

Sick as a dog.

A really sick jet-lagged dog.

More later.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/04/07/back-from-malaysia/feed/ 2 malaysia discovery http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/28/malaysia-discovery/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/28/malaysia-discovery/#comments Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:00:56 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/28/malaysia-discovery/ You will never ever EVER complain about drivers in your hometown when you attempt to perform the duties of a pedestrian in Malaysia.

Malaysian drivers will not stop for you. EVER.

We have crossed the street with a six year old, a three year old, and a baby, and they have not corrected their velocity one iota.

It adds a certain spice to life.

A spice called terror.

…

Must go. I have alcohol waiting for me.

…

Now that I think about it… the alcohol probably doesn’t help me as a pedestrian.

…

Tough.

]]> http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/28/malaysia-discovery/feed/ 2 borneo factoid http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/27/borneo-factoid/ http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/27/borneo-factoid/#comments Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:59:48 +0000 sween http://spacemonkeypants.com/2008/03/27/borneo-factoid/ You can be quite certain that it’s really freaking hot when you are in a restaurant for an hour and you are quietly muttering to yourself, “Turn on the air conditioning… turn on the air conditioning… turn on the air conditioning…” and then you go outside and you discover that, yes — the air conditioning was on.

My brain? She has melted.

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