that which cannot be named
Stopping by Blockbuster to pick up a couple of movies. Movies in hand, I get in line to pay. A cashier calls me up to the register and off we go:
CASHIER: And did you find everything you were looking for today?
ME: Yup.
CASHIER: [Opening the DVD cases] So we have “Brick” and the movie that we are not allowed to say the title of.
ME: Yup… What?
CASHIER: We aren’t allowed to say the name of that movie.
ME: What?
SECOND CASHIER: Yup. Had to take down the poster and everything.
ME: You’re not allowed to say “Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story”?
FIRST CASHIER: Nope.
ME: Ahem… “Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story”.
[Anticipatory pause.]
FIRST CASHIER: Oh, YOU can shout it to the rooftops. We just can’t. Had a customer complain.
ME: That’s stupid.
SECOND CASHIER: Yup.
ME: Really stupid.
FIRST CASHIER: Yup.
ME: Wow.
[Pay for movies. Walk to exit. Pause. Turn around and face the store.]
ME: Tristram Shandy. [Pause.] A COCK and BULL Story.
[Pause. World does not end. Exit.]


