• ITV News: “Ticket after lines painted under parked car” (via Consumerist)

A driver has been left stunned after returning to his parked car to find yellow lines painted underneath it and a ticket on the windscreen.

When Nasser Khan left his vehicle overnight in Chapel Street, Salford, he was certain he had parked in an unmarked stretch of the road.

So he was left bemused the next morning after discovering he had been handed a ticket for illegal parking.

But workmen had been captured on CCTV crouching underneath the car to paint in the gap, almost melting the tyres on Mr Khan’s car. A waiting parking warden then issued the ticket.

It’s times like these that I feel that the bitch-slap needs to be written into law as an approved judicial punishment.

CBC: “Nova Scotia lifts Sunday shopping ban”

The Sobeys and Atlantic Superstore grocery chains have won their court challenge of Nova Scotia’s Sunday shopping regulations.

A court ruling released Wednesday said the provincial government went beyond its powers with regulations introduced in June that prevented the grocery stores from selling products seven days a week.

Shortly after Nova Scotia Supreme Court Justice Peter Richard issued the ruling, Premier Rodney MacDonald said he will clear the way for Sunday shopping.

MacDonald said the government will not appeal the ruling or look for ways to enforce Sunday shopping restrictions.

He also said the province will not be drawn into a debate over the definition of a grocery store.

Retail stores of all kinds can open on Sundays and other holidays, starting this weekend. The only exception is Remembrance Day.

Oh happy day. Ours was the very last province in the country that did not allow shopping on Sundays. The dark days are coming to an end.

Zipidee-friggin-DOODAH!

• Zap2it: “Garbage Disposal Maker Sues NBC Over ‘Heroes’ Scene – Company says its product cast ‘in unsavory light’” (via TV Squad)

The company that makes In-Sink-Erator garbage disposers is suing NBC, claiming that an episode of the new show “Heroes” makes the product look bad.

Appliance maker Emerson filed the lawsuit in a St. Louis federal court Monday, seeking to block rebroadcasts of the “Heroes” pilot. In the episode, a high-school cheerleader (Hayden Panettiere) who has the ability to withstand injury sticks her hand into an In-Sink-Erator while it’s running, mangling her fingers (which return to normal within a few seconds).

[Begin Jon Stewart impersonation] WhaaAAAAA? Jamming your hand in a garbage disposal is dangerous?! [Rub eyes in disbelief. Chug back cold refreshing glass of liquid bleach. End Jon Stewart impersonation]

UPDATE: Aaaaaaaand… NBC has caved. What a surprise.

TV Squad: “Heroes episode to be edited in future broadcasts”

Well, it looks like NBC decided to avoid all the hassle of a lawsuit by cutting the scene from all future broadcasts of the show, including reruns on NBC Universal cable networks.

That’s one strong corporate backbone.

• Houston Community Newspapers Online: “Parent criticizes book ‘Fahrenheit 451′” (via digg)

Alton Verm, of Conroe, objects to the language and content in the book. His 15-year-old daughter Diana, a CCHS sophomore, came to him Sept. 21 with her reservations about reading the book because of its language.

“The book had a bunch of very bad language in it,” Diana Verm said. “It shouldn’t be in there because it’s offending people. … If they can’t find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn’t have a book at all.”

Alton Verm filed a “Request for Reconsideration of Instructional Materials” Thursday with the district regarding “Fahrenheit 451,” written by Ray Bradbury and published in 1953. He wants the district to remove the book from the curriculum.

“It’s just all kinds of filth,” said Alton Verm, adding that he had not read “Fahrenheit 451.” “The words don’t need to be brought out in class. I want to get the book taken out of the class.”

He looked through the book and found the following things wrong with the book: discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, “dirty talk,” references to the Bible and using God’s name in vain. He said the book’s material goes against their religions beliefs.

…

Alton Verm’s request to ban “Fahrenheit 451″ came during the 25th annual Banned Books Week. He and Hines said the request to ban “Fahrenheit 451,” a book about book burning, during Banned Books Weeks is a coincidence.

I have no words.

…

Wait. I do have words.

A select list of those words is presented alphabetically for your pleasure:

• backward
• bigoted
• narrow-minded
• hidebound
• ignorant
• intolerant
• myopic
• nachos
• reactionary
• ridiculous
• stupid
• uneducated

(What? I’m hungry.)

• USATODAY.com: “Trout death probe points to teddy bear” (via Boing Boing)

A teddy bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths — trout deaths, that is.

State officials say a teddy bear that fell into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.

What I find most chilling is the fact that the bear is wearing a tiny raincoat and a tiny souwester… like he KNEW he was going to sea… like he knew he was going to kill.

*shudder*