• CNET News.com: “Create an e-annoyance, go to jail” (via Metafilter)

Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It’s no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

In other words, it’s OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.

This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.

“The use of the word ‘annoy’ is particularly problematic,” says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. “What’s annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else.”

Buried deep in the new law is Sec. 113, an innocuously titled bit called “Preventing Cyberstalking.” It rewrites existing telephone harassment law to prohibit anyone from using the Internet “without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy.”

Nope. This didn’t help. Still feeling gassy.

Luckily, I’m a gassy Canadian…

• Halifax Daily News: “We’re in the sights of America’s right”

One American pundit, Tucker Carlson, said Canada is “like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head.”

I have many things I would like to say to Mr. Carlson in response to his oh-so-cogent attack on Canada, but I have decided to leave the work to the Insulting Name Generator.

(Typing noises. Short pause. Giggles.)

Tucker Carlson? You are a “zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker Herpesmonkey”.

I’m certain the zebras appreciate your hard work.

• The Nation: “No Place for a Poet at a Banquet of Shame”

The poet Sharon Olds had been invited by Laura Bush to attend the National Book Festival in Washington D.C. on September 24, 2005.

Ms. Olds declined in a letter, which she also had published in The Nation.

Her letter is a beautiful, eloquent, and ultimately punishing refusal to be counted in even the smallest way as supporting the Bush government. Read it.

• KRT: “DeLay blames Democrats, war for runaway federal spending” (via Sploid)

Republicans may control Congress and the White House, but a leading House Republican says they can’t be blamed for runaway federal spending on their watch.

Blame it on the war, said Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas. Or the Democrats.

…

“The 9-11 recovery, the war on terror, our homeland security buildup and related priorities have required Congress to spend more than we otherwise would have,” the former majority leader of the House of Representatives told an audience Thursday at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank.

…

He also blamed Democrats, complaining that they haven’t offered any suggestions on how to cut spending. He said they created a congressional budget process that makes it difficult to cut spending.

“We’ve been operating off a Congress designed by Democrats,” he said.

The Republicans took control of Congress in 1995.

[Emphasis mine.]

You know, I don’t post a lot about politics. This blog is more in the vein of a “Funny pictures of zombie animals made of Lego!” sort of blog.

But some things just make me want to chew out my brain with a staple remover.

Yes, Mr. Delay. Let’s blame the Democrats. The big bad Democrats. They’re just big bullies and they scare you teeny wittle Republicans. It must be so frustrating to be in such a completely powerless position — complete freaking control over the executive, legislative, and (pretty goddamn soon) judicial branches of the U.S. Government.

Dumbass.

You know, I’m starting to wonder if the zombies just might run things a little better. At least they wouldn’t blame their screw-ups on the Democrats. They’d just eat their brains until they came to a reasonable compromise.

• McSweeney’s: “Unqualified Successes of George W. Bush’s Two Terms in Office (So Far)”

The most concise editorial on the Bush Administration I have ever read.

It can’t get more concise than this.

Really.

Super-duper concise.