• Los Angeles Times: “Poker party” (via MetaFilter)

Condensed version:

“If you don’t bet, you’re not gonna win.”

Ultra-condensed version:

“Grow a pair.”

• MSNBC.com: “FEMA chief relieved of Katrina duties”

Amid harsh criticism of federal relief efforts, Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff announced Friday that Michael Brown, director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, is handing over Hurricane Katrina relief duties to a Coast Guard official and returning to Washington to oversee the national office.

“Other challenges and threats remain around the world,” and Brown is needed to prepare for those, Chertoff said at a news conference in Baton Rouge.

Note — he’s been “relieved” of “Katrina relief duties”. Not “kicked to the curb”. Important distinction.

(That second paragraph is hilarious though. The worst natural disaster in US and the head of FEMA is being sent back home to prepare for potential disasters. Weeeeeeak excuse…)

• Washington Post: “Tight Constraints on Pentagon’s Freedom Walk” (via Atrios)

Organizers of the Pentagon’s 9/11 memorial Freedom Walk on Sunday are taking extraordinary measures to control participation in the march and concert, with the route fenced off and lined with police and the event closed to anyone who does not register online by 4:30 p.m. today.

The march, sponsored by the Department of Defense, will wend its way from the Pentagon to the Mall along a route that has not been specified but will be lined with four-foot-high snow fencing to keep it closed and “sterile,” said Allison Barber, deputy assistant secretary of defense.

The U.S. Park Police will have its entire Washington force of several hundred on duty and along the route, on foot, horseback and motorcycles and monitoring from above by helicopter. Officers are prepared to arrest anyone who joins the march or concert without a credential and refuses to leave, said Park Police Chief Dwight E. Pettiford.

…

One restricted group will be the media, whose members will not be allowed to walk along the march route. Reporters and cameras are restricted to three enclosed areas along the route but are not permitted to walk alongside participants walking from the Pentagon, across the Memorial Bridge to the Mall.

From dictionary.com:

free·dom
n.

1. The condition of being free of restraints.
2. Liberty of the person from slavery, detention, or oppression.
3. a. Political independence.
    b. Exemption from the arbitrary exercise of authority in the performance of a specific action; civil liberty: freedom of assembly.
4. Exemption from an unpleasant or onerous condition: freedom from want.
5. The capacity to exercise choice; free will: We have the freedom to do as we please all afternoon.
6. Ease or facility of movement: loose sports clothing, giving the wearer freedom.
7. Frankness or boldness; lack of modesty or reserve: the new freedom in movies and novels.
8. a. The right to unrestricted use; full access: was given the freedom of their research facilities.
    b. The right of enjoying all of the privileges of membership or citizenship: the freedom of the city.
9. A right or the power to engage in certain actions without control or interference: “the seductive freedoms and excesses of the picaresque form” (John W. Aldridge).

i·ro·ny
n. pl. i·ro·nies

1. a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

UPDATE: At the wise suggestion of Ramzi, I will proceed to add one more definition:

dou·ble·think
n.

1. Thought marked by the acceptance of gross contradictions and falsehoods, especially when used as a technique of self-indoctrination:

“Doublethink… is a vast system of mental cheating” (George Orwell).

• blacksundae.net: “Three cheers for the ‘nanny state!’”

Or, as some commentators have stated, should we foster an atmosphere of individualism and self-reliance and let people fend for themselves? Is it encouraging reliance on a “nanny state” for a government to mount a mass evacuation effort? Does a desire for this suggest a sense of “entitlement.”

First, let me say that hearing a modern-day Republican say the word “individualism” reminds me of a dog trying to walk on its hind legs. Nevertheless, I feel that one can make these arguments when faced with certain issues. Welfare? There’s a debate there. The same with affirmative action and many other political points of contention. But when these people say that an organized mass evacuation in the face of a horrendous natural disaster encourages “reliance on a nanny state,” I have to ask: What do you think government is for if not for this?

Are they actually anarchists? Clearly not because, without government, how would they be able to tell us what movies we can watch, what Gods we should worship and who we can fuck in the privacy of our own homes? They do feel there’s a legitimate role for government in America, but evidently that role doesn’t extend to saving lives. It should.

Is it a sense of entitlement that makes me say this? Well, yes. I suppose so. Just like all those people left behind in the path of a giant vortex of death, I am a tax-paying citizen of the United States of America. When I fork over all that hard-earned cash, I expect — nay, I feel entitled to — something in return. Let’s think of it in capitalist terms: this is an exchange of money for services. I pay the government and, in exchange, the government empties my trash can, makes sure the roads are paved and does its darndest to protect me from being robbed in the street. When another country wants to invade my country, the government should use what I paid them to fight it off. When a terrorist wants to blow me up, the government should stop them. And when a giant category 5 storm is heading for my city — a city which is pretty much guaranteed to go under water — and I have no method of escape, the government should use my tax dollars to get me the hell out of there.

[Emphasis mine.]

This is my favourite Katrina post of the past few days.

• BobHarris.com: ” Bush orders FEMA to protect Upsidedownland” (via Thimkpad)

I thought I’d find out for myself exactly which Louisiana parishes were and were not included in George W. Bush’s declaration of emergency effective August 26th, which you can also reach by clicking the map itself.

I checked the parish map against the White House’s own press release, posted on their own site. I have tried to figure out how this is my own mistake, but I can’t find it. And the results are frankly so bizarre I had to make the graphic in order to properly show you.

Welcome to upside-down-land: the areas at risk for Katrina were quite remarkably the areas not included in Bush’s declaration of emergency.

From the White House memo Statement on Federal Emergency Assistance for Louisiana (dated August 27, 2005):

The President’s action authorizes the Department of Homeland Security, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), to coordinate all disaster relief efforts which have the purpose of alleviating the hardship and suffering caused by the emergency on the local population, and to provide appropriate assistance for required emergency measures, authorized under Title V of the Stafford Act, to save lives, protect property and public health and safety, or to lessen or avert the threat of a catastrophe in the parishes of Allen, Avoyelles, Beauregard, Bienville, Bossier, Caddo, Caldwell, Claiborne, Catahoula, Concordia, De Soto, East Baton Rouge, East Carroll, East Feliciana, Evangeline, Franklin, Grant, Jackson, LaSalle, Lincoln, Livingston, Madison, Morehouse, Natchitoches, Pointe Coupee, Ouachita, Rapides, Red River, Richland, Sabine, St. Helena, St. Landry, Tensas, Union, Vernon, Webster, West Carroll, West Feliciana, and Winn.

And here’s a map of Louisiana with the parishes mentioned in the memo coloured in red: