“Update: he’s now tucking small woodland animals into the fly of my pajamas and I never thought I would ever type that sentence.”

- Mike

“Every time you leave the single word “FAIL” as a blog comment, people mentally count the flecks of eczema & pepperoni in your lonely goatee.”

- Merlin Mann

• Jurgen Nation: “Holding Out For a Hero: On Fictional Crime Television”

“Oh. Excuse me, kind sir, but where’s the quote?” you ask.

Just pick one. The whole post is a burning incandescent sun of HAWSOME.

In response to my mentioning how amazed I was that she was functioning so well (i.e., at all) considering she had the flu and only one hour of sleep:

My Lovely Wife: Hey. I’m tough. Come the Apocalypse, it’s gonna be me, your grandmother, my grandmother, and the cockroaches. You’ll see.

As the nurse took Sophia’s temperature, I stood in front of the bed and massaged Sophia’s right foot. I was surprised when Sophia, drunk from the powerful morphine, used her left foot to rub my groin up and down. It felt good, but a little inappropriate in the recovery room. Sophia insists this episode never occurred, but I have the nurse as an eyewitness, even though she was very polite about not mentioning the result.

- Neil, Citizen of the Month

Everyone, head on over and give Sophia some get well vibes.

Or Neil might just open up a can of Campbell’s Cream of Passive-Aggressive on yo ass.