robots just got a frigging whole lot more unsettling
Okay. So I may have been mildly unsettled by robots earlier in the week.
O… to return to those innocent, carefree days.
A “robot wine steward”? How innocuous!
Look at how the article lulls us into a false sense of security:
Researchers at NEC System Technologies and Mie University have designed a robot that can taste — an electromechanical sommelier able to identify dozens of different wines, cheeses and hors d’oeuvres.
“There are all kinds of robots out there doing many different things,” said Hideo Shimazu, director of the NEC System Technology Research Laboratory and a joint-leader of the robot project. “But we decided to focus on wine because that seemed like a real challenge.”
Last month, they unveiled the fruits of their two-year effort — a green-and-white prototype with eyes, a head that swivels and a mouth that lights up whenever the robot talks.
The “tasting” is done elsewhere, however.
At the end of the robot’s left arm is an infrared spectrometer. When objects are placed up against the sensor, the robot fires off a beam of infrared light. The reflected light is then analyzed in real time to determine the object’s chemical composition.
“All foods have a unique fingerprint,” Shimazu said. “The robot uses that data to identify what it is inspecting right there on the spot.”
When it has identified a wine, the robot speaks up in a childlike voice. It names the brand and adds a comment or two on the taste, such as whether it is a buttery chardonnay or a full-bodied shiraz, and what kind of foods might go well on the side.
Oh! How perfectly non-threatening! How completely disarming!
Heck! Let’s take a look at the little guy!
Look! He’s got a little chef’s hat! THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER! Crank up the assembly lines! I want my robo-steward TODAY! ROBO-STEWARDS FOR EVERYONE!
[Sound of assembly lines being cranked up.]
Buuuuuuuuut… WAIT!
[Sound of assembly lines being cranked down.]
Read further, my hitherto complacent readers… read further…
When a reporter’s hand was placed against the robot’s taste sensor, it was identified as prosciutto. A cameraman was mistaken for bacon.
Yes.
That is correct.
TO ROBOTS… WE. TASTE. LIKE. BACON.
I shall now proceed to my underground bunker for the remainder of the day.
