• Gizmodo: “Dry Your Shoes Off And Come On In”

I’m all for shiny-red doo-dads that dry/warm your shoes. Looks really pretty, eh? Your technolust is rising, eh?

However, having had many — many — days where I’ve come home from a wet day of Ultimate with an absolutely soaking pairs of cleats. And I have yet to require a shiny-red doo-dad to get them dry for the next day. Instead:

1. Take some old newspaper. (I love using the multitude of flyers that are delivered to my door twice-a-freaking week. That way, I feel like they’re not a complete waste.)
2. Bunch them up into a plethora of wads.
3. Stuff the wads into the liquid-imbued footwear.
4. Wait.
5. Remove.
6. If you so choose, depending on the level of liquidity and on your own time requirements, repeat.

Result = dry shoes.

Cost = nuthin’.

[Ed. note: Did I eat a thesaurus or something this weekend? “Plethora”? Somebody smack me.)

• MBoffin.com: “Full Site Screenshots in Firefox”

Oh, this is cool. This Firefox extension, ScreenGrab let’s you take a screen grab of an entire webpage, including everything that you need to scroll off the page to see.

I was about to upload the screen grab of this page, but it’s really freaking big.

Besides, you’re here anyways. You’re seeing it right now. Do you really need to be on this page and then upload a picture… of this page?

I didn’t think so.

But it’s still cool.

Using my mouse is an annoying waste of time. Moving my hand half a foot from the keyboard is bad enough, but the time it takes to locate the pointer on the screen is what really steams me. Oh yeah, most of the time it’s a split second and there it is, but every now and then the pointer is right at the edge of the screen and my flailing of the mouse just slides it along that edge. Precious seconds are wasted trying to find that stupid thing!

This is why keyboard shortcuts rule like Dr. Doom rules Latveria*.

Some of them everybody knows. They’re fine. Some of them are pretty freaking useless. And some… ahhhh, some are like hidden jewels.

So, in the interest of introducing my favourites in case they are new to you, may I obsequiously present…

Jason’s Jolly Pirate Ship ‘o’ Window-Centric Keyboard Shortcuts

General Windows Shortcuts

These are the ones that everyone should know and if you don’t, what’s your problem, chump? They work in a whole cornucopia of Windows programs.

• CTRL-o — Open
• CTRL-s — Save
• CTRL-a — Select All
• CTRL-x — Cut
• CTRL-c — Copy
• CTRL-v — Paste
• CTRL-f — Find
• CTRL-p — Print
• CTRL-F4 — Close file
• ALT-F4 — Close Program
• ALT-Tab — Cycle through open windows
• WIN-e — Open Windows Explorer
• WIN-d — Minimize everything and reveal the desktop (hit it again and it restores everything)

Microsoft Word

• F4 — Repeat Last Action (This one is so sweet. Select some text. Do something to it. Select some other text. Hit F4. It performs the last action on the new selection. Makes life so much easier, especially when some of those actions involve going through a whole series of menus.)
• F12 — Save As

Thunderbird (and a lot of other email programs)

• CTRL-Enter — Send Email
• CTRL-r — Reply
• SHIFT-CTRL-r — Reply All
• CTRL-l — Forward

Mozilla Firefox

• CTRL-l — Go to the Location bar
• CTRL-k — Go to the Search Bar
• CTRL-n — Open new browser window
• CTRL-t — Open new tab
• CTRL-Tab — Cycle through open tabs
• Keywords — This is not so much a specific keyboard shortcut as a way to create keyboard shortcuts for specific web addresses. Select “Properties” for any specific bookmark and in the keyword field enter whatever keyword you like. I find it easiest to use single-letter keywords for the sites that I visit most often (“j” for this site, “b” for Bloglines, etc.). That way, I just type CTRL-l and then the single letter keyword and then I’m at the page I’m looking for. Easy-peasy.

* Geek quota of the day

UPDATE: Ack! I forgot one of the very most essential of the keyboard shortcuts:

• CTRL-z — Undo!!!!

(Don’t know where I’d be without that one…)

• eHow.com: “How to Spot a Virgo”

Okay. Breathe. Stay calm. Don’t freak out. Breathe.

As a palliative, perhaps rewriting the tip in a more succinct fashion will help.

How to spot a Virgo.

1. Take a large hunk of wood. (Hardwood preferrably, although pine can do in a pinch.)
2. Grasp it firmly with both hands.
3. Drive the hunk of wood briskly and with great force into your forehead.
4. Repeat until you have lost the desire to find out if someone is a Virgo our not.

Yes. That does help.

In honour of Airbag sending out a web-wide bitch-slapping to the truly dubious life hacks that are becoming more and more prevalent, may I present…

Jason’s Really Super Useful Guide for How to Make Toast!

1. Get a slice of bread. (Once you are comfortable with this procedure, you can work your way up to two slices. However, if you find yourself required to make three pieces of toast or more, a permit from your local municipality may be required.)
2. The bread must be sliced. A loaf of bread does not toast well. It is actually unlikely to fit in the toaster. Do not even try this with a hamster. (While a hamster is likely to fit in the toaster, jam does not spread well on toasted hamsters.)
3. Put the slice of bread in the toaster. Be certain to have the slots of the toaster face the ceiling (or sky if you are toasting outside). Having the slots face the wall could lead to crumbs on your nice new wallpaper. And having the slots face the counter could lead to toast-shaped indentations in the counter, depending on the strength of your toaster. (However, in theory you could modify your counter by slicing toast-shaped holes in the top of it, allowing a slot-side down implementation of the toaster. If you attempt this modification, please let me know how it turns out!)
4. Press down on the lever on the side of the toaster until it clicks. If it does not click, press it further. If it still does not click, stop immediately and go to your local YMCA or fitness centre. You are too weak and need the services of a personal trainer. Do not even attempt to make toast again until you are stronger. (Wimp.)
5. Step away from the toaster. It will not work while you look at it. Don’t even try. I said, step away. The toaster can sense your presence. The one thing you do not want is a pissed-off toaster. They’ll get you while you sleep. (Don’t ask me how I know. I just know.)
6. Assemble your further ingredients. You will require: (1) a plate to place the toast on, (2) a knife to spread the condiments on the toast, (3) condiments (e.g. butter, jam, peanut butter, liquid paper, honey, etc.), and (4) a first-aid kit to stop the bleeding caused by the knife.
7. If the toaster has not ejected the toast, take a very quick glance and then look away. What did you see? If you saw smoke, the toaster knew you were looking at it earlier and is now burning your toast in a burst of vengeful rage. It is your fault. I told you not to look at it earlier. If it is not smoking, continue to look away. I also recommend whistling. It makes you look innocent and will put the toaster at ease.
8. When you hear a popping sound, you are then permitted to turn around. The top of your previously untoasted bread should now be visible at the top of the toaster slot. Remove the toast quickly and reverently and place it on the plate.
9. Thank the toaster.
10. Take your knife and spread your choice of condiment on the toast. (Remember — if you live north of the Equator, you must spread your condiment on the toast in a clockwise circle. Vice versa if you live south of the Equator.)
11. Open your first-aid kit and retrieve a bandage. Place it over the wound on your finger. The bleeding should stop shortly.
12. Enjoy your freshly-made toast!