Last night’s Battlestar Galactica is sitting on our DVR right now.

I wasn’t ALLOWED to watch it last night, since it was on at 11:00 and My Lovely Wife said she would be asleep unless I was watching it in which case her subconscious mind would alert her to the fact that “her Starbuck” was on TV and cause her adrenal medulla to pump adrenaline through her system thereby causing her to wake up suddenly and in all likelihood punch me in the stomach repeatedly.

Or something like that.

Whatever her reasoning, last night’s Battlestar Galactica is sitting on our DVR right now.

UNWATCHED.

So… Internet… I have a small request to make:

Please don’t tell me what happened.

And I mean, NOTHING. Not even coy little hints. Those are the worst.

Hell, even if Edward James Olmos breaks character, looks directly at the camera and says, “Jason Sweeney — a rain of frozen toads will crush you DEAD if you walk on Oxford Street at exactly 11:10 am on January 22, 2007,” JUST LET ME TAKE MY CHANCES. A RAIN OF TOADS IS UNLIKELY AND EDWARD JAMES OLMOS IS NOT A WORLD AUTHORITY ON THEM.

We are watching it when we get home tonight.

After that, feel free to spoilerise the episode for everyone else.

Until then, can you please just share funny pictures of cats or videos of guys getting hit in the groin with iPhones or whatever?

Thanks.

You’re the best.

UPDATE: We’re all good. Spoilerise to your heart’s content.

(Special thanks on the whole not-ruining-the-episode-for-me front HAVE go out to Walking To Do. Rock on, DecemberFlower. You get an eCookie.)

Holy crap. That was a week. Three news items — BANG! BANG! BANG! — that set my geek heart a-flutter:

• FIRST! The Sci-Fi Channel announces that they will be creating a 6-hour miniseries (producers include George Freaking Clooney) of Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age: Or a Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer. (If I haven’t mentioned it before. Neal Stephenson is my FAVOURITE author and if you haven’t you should read his Cryptonomicon right now. Go. We’ll be here when you get back.)
• SECOND! HBO has announced they are going to be making George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire into a motherfrakking TELEVISION SERIES! Gah! One of the best (not to mention bloody, brutal, and morally ambiguous) fantasy series out there, coming to us from the network that gave us The Sopranos, Deadwood, and Rome. My geek-o-meter is CLIMBING INTO THE RED HERE, PEOPLE.
• THIRD! G-FORCE! THE MOVIE!

I can’t take it any more. My geek organ… it is burst.

All this AND a new episode of Battlestar Galactica this weekend?

I will say it.

IT’S BETTER THAN COOKIES.

She enables my new and crippling Battlestar Galactica addiction.

Our Saturday consisted of an eye-bubbling eight episode marathon to catch us up to the present. Every episode ended with My Lovely Wife announcing to the world, “NEEEEEEEEEEXT!”

And now… I must wait. Like a sucker.

LIKE A VERY IMPATIENT SUCKER.

This is bad. Our DVR is sitting at home with the season premieres of Rome AND 24 waiting for us… plus a behind-the-scenes documentary on Battlestar Galactica which is probably nothing more than a glorified promo. And which one do you think I want to watch most? Unless Jack Bauer or Mark Antony are getting in the cockpit of a Viper, it ain’t them.

I mean — C’MON! I have to wait SIX MORE DAYS FOR A NEW EPISODE?

THE DAYS… THEY PASS GLACIALLY.

I drank the Kool-Aid.

For Christmas, Jason’s Dad bestowed upon his firstborn son boxed sets of the 1st and 2nd seasons of Battlestar Galactica. (Well, actually the 1st season and season 2.0… but I went out and got season 2.5 three days after Christmas. Yay me.)

I had been told it would rock. I was fully expecting it to rock. And guess what?

IT FRAKKING ROCKS!

(My Lovely Wife has also tasted of the Kool-Aid. Her standard reply when I ask if she wants to watch another episode? “I need to know what happens to my Starbuck!”)

But this post is not about how much BSG frakking rocks. Oh no.

At the moment, My Lovely Wife and I have 6 episodes left of the second season to watch and find ourselves at a critical juncture. Currently, one half of the 3rd season has aired on television and the second half of the 3rd season will start on January 21.

We need to see the first half of the season before the 21st so we can actually start to watch the show along with the rest of the world and I can stop reading the interweb without a constant ulcerating fear of BSG spoilers around every corner. EVEN ON MY OWN SITE. (Ugh.)

So, credit card in hand, I boogied over to iTunes to download season 3.

There I made an very interesting discovery.

Seeing as I reside in Canada, it seems I am not allowed to download from the U.S. iTunes Store. I can look at it all I want, nose pressed up against the plate-glass window. I’m just not allowed to give them my money and get a product from them in return. I guess they’re all scared of my Canadian cooties and run away like little crying babies. (No slight intended toward actual babies. Please don’t kill me, mommy bloggers.)

Instead, I am redirected to the Canadian iTunes Store.

WHICH! DOESN’T! HAVE! TELEVISION! SHOWS!

AUGH!

AUGH!

AUGH!

…

Boy.

I just wonder what I’m going to do now?

[Sound of dripping.]

Please excuse that viscous liquid pooling under your monitor. It’s just sarcasm. It’s biodegradable and should harmlessly evaporate.

It’s also nice on toast.

Those moments when the stars of geekdom all seem to align in harmonious conjunction, when the elements add up to a pure geek gestalt that makes your skin tingle, your smile stretch to the back of your head, and you find yourself helplessly jumping up and down in your seat?

I call that a geek bomb.

Personal examples?

• In Pulp Fiction, when Butch picks up the baseball bat, then picks up the chainsaw, and then sees the purest of pure geek weapons — HOLY HELL, IT’S A FREAKING SAMURAI SWORD — hanging on the wall? Geek bomb.
• In Raiders of the Lost Ark, when the Nazis drive off with the Ark of the Covenant, and then Indy appears [insert Raiders theme here] chasing after them ON A FREAKING HORSE? Geek bomb. (Echoed later on by an equally powerful geek bomb when he appears on the deck of the submarine. Hoo-whee.)
• In Superman Returns, when Superman lifts THE ENTIRE FREAKING KRYPTO-CONTINENT into space, finally showing on screen the incredibly massive moving-planets-if-he-so-chooses strength that comic book fans know Superman has but have never gotten to see? Geek bomb.

I could go on in this vein FOR DAYS… but I do have a point.

Last night’s episode of Heroes.

Seen it?

If not, I will keep this spoiler-free.

Suffice it to say… I got ONE MOTHER OF A GEEK BOMB last night.

If you saw it, you probably know what I’m taking about.

My glee reservoirs? They are full.

…

Got your own personal geek bombs? Then delurk, my pollen-dusted readers… delurk!