I’ve been slack, rude, and more than a little stinky to you.

And that’s just wrong, because out of all the visitors to this fair site, you are my favourite.

Yes, I’m talking to you.

No, not you — you.

Alas, I am struggling — heroically, I might add — to burrow through a mound of work before I head off on Monday for the fair city of Toronto and the 2007 Canadian Ultimate Championships!

Whoo! And a Hoo! Everybody dance now!

[Everyone dances.]

So, in recompense to my abominable behaviour to you, please allow me to offer you…

… a few of my newly-patented iHugs^©!

[Pause for applause.]

They’re just like hugs, but shiny and white! And they have a touchscreen!

(Well, the touchscreen is my belly, but you can touch it if you really want to.)

Takers? Anyone?

[Expectant pause.]